Book reviews: August-November 2022

Holy crap, I’m behind on these. Well, 2023 was a busy year for me. Anyway, this round isn’t as big as the last one, but we hit a number of points. We have the reliable series that I already know I like, the previously unread sequel (though there are several other series and sequels that I would have gotten if the library had had them), the realistic fiction, the adult nonfiction about language, the book that I saw at a store years ago but wasn’t interested enough in to buy, and the impulsive new release checkout. Also, as mentioned, I let life get away from me and it’s been a year and a half since I read most of these, so pardon me if I don’t cover all the details.

The Dark Prophecy (The Trials of Apollo #2)

The second book in Apollo’s personal series features some good returning characters and new ones. Calypso and Leo make another appearance, and notably, Calypso actually gets to do stuff. They’re rescued from a group of blemmyae, humanoid monsters that have extremely tough bodies and have their faces in their chests but are unfailingly polite, by Emmie and Josephine, who took little time to become my favorite gay couple in fiction thus far. (Emmie is short for Hemithea, a character from an obscure ancient Greek story.) Admittedly, I don’t have a lot to compare them to, but you can’t not like a couple of cool old lesbians who manage a space-bending safehouse. They meet Britomartis, goddess of nets and traps, and go on a quest to rescue some griffins stolen by Commodus, the villain of the episode, and figure out what’s up with a prophecy that they were given. Of course, they must fight Commodus in his theatrical show of violence, and of course, he also escapes to fight another day.

The book was good. It sure seemed like it had higher stakes than the previous second books, but I could already start seeing Apollo’s character development. On to the third one.

Rating: B

Anatopsis

Here is a book that I’ve actually had my eye on for a while. I first saw it at Barnes & Noble back when the year had two 0s in the middle, and the title intrigued me, but I never got to read it until summer 2022. So how was it? Well, let’s break things down.

The cast:
– Anatopsis, the titular character, known by friends as Ana, princess of a society of immortal mages, and daughter of the most powerful witch in the land;
– Clarissa, her best friend and technically servant, who is pointedly not an immortal mage;
– Barnaby, the prince of a neighboring kingdom and designated clumsy and unmanly guy with a strict father;
– Uno, Barnaby’s pet St. Bernard and apparently the only dog left in the universe;
– Abigail, the queen and overbearing mother of Ana who at least somewhat means well but spends far more time power-tripping than actually cultivating healthy relationships;
– Archibald, the neighboring king and Barnaby’s father, who has all of Abigail’s bad qualities turned up to 11 with none of her good ones and basically exists to be an abusive father who can get shown up in the end (heck, he’s a straight-up card-carrying villain, given that he seems to enjoy being evil);
– Mr. Pound, the villain who didn’t even try to pretend otherwise, in or out of the narration. Even if the synopsis hadn’t made his role in the story clear, it took maybe three paragraphs after his introduction for me to think “Yeah, this dude is shifty as all heck”.

You said it, Estelle.

The setting: A dystopian world where the aforementioned immortal mages basically have free rein to do whatever they want to the magic-less mortals, including murder and nasty transformations, and the planet is dying, so there are very few places left to inhabit. It’s one of those insidious kinds of dystopias, too, where it seems like it could just be standard science fiction or fantasy, but the world’s true nature reveals itself soon enough.

The plot: Anatopsis wants to be a knight, but her mother wants her to take over the family business as chairwoman of a corporation of witches, so she hires Mr. Pound as a tutor because she’s a horrible judge of character. Meanwhile, Barnaby’s father is treating him like dirt, so he ends up living and learning with Ana, which she does not approve of. They all eventually realize that Mr. Pound does not have anyone’s best interests at heart except his own and is searching for an artifact that will essentially upgrade him from a demigod to a full god and from Mr. Pound to Mr. Ton, and Ana and her friends must stop him before he does exactly that, as well as find Ana’s missing father.

Now, this is a story that could be the foundation for any number of imaginative adventures, but mostly, it seems to revel in its cruelty and how big of a jerk everyone is, even the protagonists on occasion. By the middle of chapter 5, we were down to two likable characters of the seven introduced so far, as Ana and Clarissa decided to torment Barnaby for absolutely no reason, and by the middle of chapter 6, I was just thinking “Okay, screw this entire society; everyone except Barnaby and Uno deserves to be locked in a basement with no food except Spam, no clothing except wet underwear, and no entertainment except a VSA choir and E.T. for the Atari, and if they die, that sounds like the opposite of a problem to me”. I guess the main takeaway here is that upper-class people suck, in every story that they’re in, including nonfiction. Actually, especially nonfiction. Ana did get some character development by the end of chapter 10, though; she just needed to warm up to Barnaby a bit. Incidentally, “Anatopsis” is presumably a play on “thanatopsis”, or “contemplation of death”, which fits with one of the themes of the story. The ideas that the writer had were interesting, but it felt like he might have tried to fit too many of them in one book. The plot thread about the Greek gods being murdered never came up again, and a number of mythical creatures were mentioned but barely even showed up in the story. Overall, the setting felt highly underexplored. It also didn’t help that the second half felt like it was trying to cram in way more than the first half; there was plenty of time setting up the main plotline, and then once The Big Quest got underway, the author rushed through it like he’d just realized that the deadline was 3 months earlier than he’d thought. He said once that his original version had been 600 pages long and unpublishable, but honestly, it might have worked better at 600 pages; at least then he’d be able to spend more time on things. (Is this what the person who designed Mega Man 3’s fortress stages ended up doing later in life?) I also noticed some editing mistakes; at the very least, there was one sentence that was definitely missing a comma.

This book, in general, was hard to read. It wasn’t because of the writing style like The Starless Sea was, but rather because of the story itself. Chris Abouzeid heaps misfortune after misery after agony after adversity on his protagonists until you feel like the payoff can’t possibly make up for it, and then when the heroes finally get their own back, the book just ends. And they barely even managed to do that; the ending is, in my opinion, pretty bittersweet, and definitely leaning more toward the bitter side. Sure, the nobles don’t get to use their powers to murder and transform people anymore, but ALL the magic is gone, including the fun kind that can be used for things like flying; Clarissa is dead, after having been turned into a hideous mutant and going through days of torment; and the villain technically isn’t even permanently defeated. One other reviewer described the ending as “gratifying”, and boy, I’d hate to see what an ending that they consider disappointing would be like. Anatopsis had potential, but it had too many irons in the fire, left way too many questions unanswered and plot points dropped, and, frankly, kind of annoyed me. It didn’t grind my nerves quite as much as the second Sisters Grimm book, but about the only thing that saved it from getting the same rating is that it was at least something new and creative, with an interesting (though underused) setting. Well, 15-year-old me, now you finally know what that book was about. Are you happy now? Because 31-year-old me definitely didn’t think the wait was worth it.

Rating: C-

Ramona the Pest

Well, at least this time, we are cleansing the bad taste with a Beverly Cleary book. This one features Ramona in kindergarten, where she gets into conflicts with another girl in her class (her curls are just too temptingly bouncy), a boy in her class (he’s just too temptingly kissable), her teacher (Ramona likes her, until she sends her home for not being able to behave herself), and society in general (Ramona can’t always get the hang of all the social rules that one is supposed to follow in school). And…that’s basically it. She doesn’t try to make trouble, but life is hard when you’re 5 and people don’t understand you. It was good as usual.

Rating: B-

A Kind of Spark

This is another realistic fiction novel, and, if I’m not mistaken, the first one that I’ve reviewed on here that wasn’t by Beverly Cleary or Carl Hiaasen, as well as the first one featuring an autistic main character. The latter will end up being a much more common trend later on, but for now, we’re still pretending that it’s 2022 and these are the most recent books that I’ve read. This is narrated by Addie, who besides being autistic is 11 years old and struggling a bit with social interactions in school (as one does), including getting picked on by students and mocked by her teacher. She finds out that her town was a place where women were burned for being witches in past centuries, and she decides that she wants to create a memorial for them, since she feels like she can relate to being different and misunderstood. With the help of her older sister and a new friend, she finds her place.

One thing that I noticed about this story was that there seemed to be a lot of character foiling to contrast different characters. My copy also didn’t state right away that Addie was 11, but I managed to figure it out based on other given information (her older sister is at college, and when the older sister was the Addie’s current age, Addie was 4). Beyond that, it’s worth noting that the author herself is autistic, so she can draw on her own experiences for Addie’s narration, and it shows. This book had some humor, some drama, and a lot of heart, not to mention a satisfying ending. I thought it was really good, and I look forward to what else Elle McNicoll writes.

Rating: A-

Howl’s Moving Castle

I actually saw the anime version of this first and hadn’t realized at the time that it was based on a book. The protagonist Sophie is resigned to working at her mother’s hat shop but would rather do something more exciting, and she unfortunately gets her wish when she inadvertently gets on the bad side of a wicked witch, who turns her into an old lady. As a result, she is obliged to leave the shop and seek work as a cleaning lady for the notorious wizard Howl, who lives in a strange house with his apprentice and a fire demon and turns out not to be actually evil, just vain and lazy. He ends up being another foe of the witch, and eventually, Sophie and Howl must defeat her in order to rescue the prince of the kingdom, as well as sort out their feelings about each other. Honestly, I liked the movie better, but the book wasn’t bad either.

Rating: B-

The Lost Frost Girl

In this book, Owl, the protagonist whose name is probably the weirdest part of the whole story, has always wanted to meet her mysterious father. As it turns out, her father is Jack Frost, who is a fairy-like elemental in this story, making Owl half-human and half a mythical creature, which she only realizes after she starts to develop strange wintry powers. She ends up going off into the unknown with her friends to find her father and ends up meeting quite a variety of seasonal beings and other fey, some of whom are displeased with Jack and find him overstepping his boundaries, expanding his season past its intended three months. Once she finally meets her father for the first time in forever, she starts to try to be more like him, performing his own winter duties to lighten the load. When it inevitably goes wrong and she nearly gives her friend Avery a frozen heart, she realizes even though the cold never bothers her anyway, she is still basically a human girl and not an immortal fairy, so she doesn’t have the stamina for it. So she decides to let it go and leave most of the frost-painting to her father. She does eventually find how how her mother and Jack Frost got together, and with all the ruckus between the seasonal sprites, she does the next right thing and helps bring nature back in balance.

This story seemed quite dense, so to speak; a lot happened in a short amount of time and not all that many pages. The writing style was noticeably “pretty”, and it was a good deal more successful with it than The Starless Sea was. I read most of it about a week into November during three of the wintriest days that we’d had that year since about February, so it was actually very thematically appropriate, especially the part about winter coming early and stepping on the toes of autumn and spring…is that an apt metaphor for the weather in Montana or what?! Jack Frost not only brought in winter a month early and considerably overstayed his welcome but even froze my family’s pipes a few times. Quite rude of him, that. Anyway, the book was pretty creative and interesting.

Rating: B+

Magicalamity

Another book about a half-fairy kid, huh. Well, despite initially having a similar-sounding premise to The Lost Frost Girl on the surface, this book has a very different feeling to it; where The Lost Frost Girl was poetic, atmospheric, and contemplative, Magicalamity was prosaic, boisterous, and comical, sort of like if Eva Ibbotson and Bruce Coville collaborated. The main character of this one finds out that his dad is not only a fairy but is being accused of murder, and he needs to go on the run, with some help from his fairy godmothers, who are far from the elegant and graceful ones typically seen. So he has to visit the land of the fairies, meet a cousin that he didn’t know he had along the way, deal with the failings of the fairy political system, and figure out the mystery of who clearly framed his father. Also, there are talking bats and a dragon. Though the dragon doesn’t show up until page 280 of this 305-page book and doesn’t even figure into the story that much, so why is it on the cover?

Anyway, it was a fun enough story. If I had a nickel for every book I read in this batch that was written by an English woman, had a nice cover, was a bit over 300 pages long, and was about an 11-year-old kid finding out that their father is a fairy, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

Rating: B+

Ramona Forever

I had read this previously, but the only thing I remembered about it was the accordion-breaking scene, which made me so angry as a kid that I kicked the book down the stairs. Even now, I cringe at that part. Even if it’s for comedy, you don’t abuse musical instruments like that, nor give them to a little kid who will abuse them. Anyway, Ramona is still in third grade here, and she’s definitely matured compared to her earlier books (YMMV on whether she’s less fun this way). The big plot points here are Mrs. Quimby having a baby and Howie’s rich uncle Hobart marrying Ramona’s aunt Beatrice, though Ramona and Beezus get some sisterly conflict and resolution. Also, people finally realize how much of a jerk Mrs. Kemp is to Ramona and let her avoid her from now on, so that’s good (gosh, I hated that woman). This was originally the last book in the series, but there ended up being one more, which will be discussed next time.

Rating: B-

That’s Not English

This is another nonfiction book about words, again comparing and contrasting language and culture in the US with that in the UK. In this case, it is presented as a series of vignettes each based around a particular word, often regional slang (“brolly”, for instance, meaning “umbrella”, discusses Britain’s infamously rainy weather). It was an atypical take on its concept but interesting enough.

Rating: B-

The Castle of Tangled Magic

This book centers on Olia, a 13-year-old girl who lives with her family in a 500-year-old castle. One day, a supernatural storm comes that only affects the castle and non the surrounding town and is powerful enough to destroy the castle if left unchecked, the result of the castle actually being magical and no longer able to contain all of that magic. With the help of Feliks, a fox spirit (domovoi, specifically) who guards the castle, Olia must journey into a magical land full of of spirits and creatures of Slavic mythology to restore balance to the magic and bring things back to normal.

This was something interesting and different. I definitely haven’t consumed a lot of media that involves Slavic mythical creatures, certainly not as major characters. (Now I wonder what a Rick Riordan series with those would be like…that is one of the mythologies that he hasn’t tapped yet to my knowledge, along with, among other things, Polynesian, Native American including Mayan and Aztec, Japanese, and Mesopotamian.) Notably, there was a rusalka who was actually nice, which seems to be a rarity (not that I actually have many other rusalkas from personal experience to compare her to, pretty much just the second chapter boss of Bravely Default and a cycle of cards from Magic: The Gathering). I find the whole idea of an entire race/species having the same—usually evil—morality to be dreadfully banal, a fantasy trope that needs to die even more than the damsel in distress or the “destined hero”. The plot twist about the evil wizard actually not being evil was unexpected, though you could tell from a mile off that the beard thing was clearly not the correct solution, considering that there was still a third of the book left. This ended up being another book without a real villain, but it wasn’t any worse for it. I also noticed that it was never said where and when the story takes place; the former is presumably Russia, but it could be another former U.S.S.R. country or other one in that region. This was a fun adventure, and I’d recommend it to anyone looking for some good fantasy.

Rating: A-

Well, there were actually quite a few winners this time. Maybe I got lucky, or maybe I’m just getting more lenient with my scores. Hopefully, it won’t be too long before I can churn out the next batch (fate tempted).

Personal interviews for queer pride, round 3

Well, I’m a whole year late on this one, but at least it’s still June this time. I have another batch of interviews ready for queer pride month. This is the third time that I’ve done such a thing; the first two were back in 2018 and 2020. This one was supposed to be for 2022, but I kept waiting for some people to get back to me who never did, and also life happened. But better late than never, right?

1.

TheMartianGeek: How would you like me to refer to you in the article?

Danielle: You can use my real name, and she or they, please.

TMG: Okay. That was going to be part of my next question. What is your full identity in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation? (Also, should I use both she and they or pick one?)

D: I have no pronoun-related preference. I identify as queer and gender-fluid broadly. And as pansexual, gray ace, and non-binary more specifically right now, though those terms have been fluid for me historically.

TMG: I see. When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

D: I’m 37 now. I’ve identified as polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous since middle school or high school, definitely before I knew the words for what I was feeling. I think I’ve felt genderfluid and pansexual since then too, but it took maybe a decade or more to really identify with those words and understand how they corresponded to my experience. I think it took me longer to identify as gray ace, in part because that terminology was really not in use when I was growing up, but also because my identities and sexuality has shifted, sometimes radically, throughout the past 20 years.

TMG: All right. How has being queer affected your life, including relationships with your community?

D: I feel like that’s a really broad question…

TMG: It is pretty broad. Family, romantic partners, regular events (including church if you go), general public…

D: Well, I did my undergrad degree in Philadelphia, which is a pretty great city to be queer in. Not that there isn’t still stigma and violence, but there are a lot of queer individuals, businesses, non-profits, and support systems in place. But when I moved from Philadelphia to Colorado, I did have trouble “finding” queer people, and that’s still an issue now. Everyone is more dispersed, and if you’re not in a city, it can be hard to find your people. So dating’s harder (and fairly, complicated by being autistic and poly as well). My co-parent is a man, so I also struggle with people assuming I’m straight, the same way they assume I’m a woman, which can be frustrating and invalidating too. Is this helpful?

TMG: Yes, thank you. How has being queer, including your journey through finding out your identity, affected your mental state?

D: I don’t remember. I feel like I’ve always been queer.

(At this point, the questions ended up being too hard for the person to answer due to executive dysfunction, so I didn’t push it.)

2.

TMG: Do you only use he/him pronouns, or he/they, or what?

Niko: I am okay with all pronouns, but i’m used to he/his, and thats what most people use.

TMG: What is your full identity in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation? Or however much you’re comfortable sharing.

N: Agender/neutrois, asexual, and aromantic.

TMG: A triple threat, I see.

N: I’m also autistic. I like As 😉

TMG: When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

N: I always had a feeling that my body was wrong but, in puberty the dysphoria became a problem. During that time (around 13/14), I started to discover that I was trans, but I also never felt female. Later at, like, 18, I discovered that there is something like nonbinary identities.

TMG: And you’re in your 20s now, right?

N: I am 33 now.

TMG: Oh. Well, how would you say that being queer has affected your life, including relationships with your community?

N: Well, being asexual and aromantic had the effect that I never had a regular relationship, and some people found it strange. But I wasn’t bullied because of that. I still look mostly male from the outside, so there is not a lot I do to show me being agender. I just dislike being pushed into male stereotypes.

TMG: I completely understand that. Some people would question why you (and other people) can’t just be a man who doesn’t follow the stereotypes. What would you say to that?

N: I would like a society where stereotypes didnt exist. And thats how I live, as most people still refer to me as male. But there was also my issue with body dysphoria that can’t be shut off by not having to deal with stereotypes.

TMG: That makes sense. Like, you didn’t like some of the physical aspects that come with being AMAB because they felt weird and uncomfortable?

N: Yes. I had strong dysphoria toward my male parts.

TMG: Gosh. Are you sure you’re not me from an alternate universe?

N: Maybe. What’s the ID of your universe?

TMG: I don’t know. I’ve never found out.

N: Darn. But who knows. Haha.

TMG: Relatedly, are there any details about gender nullification surgery that you’re comfortable sharing? Such as what you need to get it and what has to be done afterward.

N: I don’t know where to start exactly. Don’t hold back with questions. I will tell if I dont want to answer a specific question.

TMG: Well, I’m not entirely sure where to start…

N: I’d think that the process is significantly different in Germany compared to the US, at least because our healthcare systems are so different. So I started with going to a therapist and talked about all that and options over a longer time. The first treatment I got was testosterone blockers for 3 years.

TMG: So you can just block one hormone without having to replace it with another one? I’d heard that one couldn’t simply have neither because it would cause problems for your body.

N: It’s usually not the best not to have any hormone. But for me, it actually worked really well with almost no side effects. I have to do yearly checkups, but so far everything is okay.

TMG: Nice.

N: But the hormone blockers were just the start. I wanted surgery.

TMG: So the yearly checkups are the only thing that you have to do now that you’ve had the surgery?

N: I had to do it since the blockers. After 3 years of blockers, I had the surgeries (first orchiectomy, later nullification) and still have to do the checkups.

TMG: Did/do you also grow less facial and body hair than before?

N: Facial hair didn’t change, but body hair got less.

TMG: Did anything else change? Voice, muscle tone…?

N: The voice didn’t really change. It’s more difficult to keep in shape.

TMG: Huh. So what, body fat increased?

N: Yes.

TMG: That’s unfortunate. Do you have more of an exercise routine than before, or a different diet or anything?

N: Yes. And I am still working on it and on a good way.

TMG: Fair enough. What would you tell a young queer person? Or specifically agender, aromantic, or asexual. And what would you tell a person who doesn’t feel like they fit into the community, like they’re “not queer enough” or too good at passing?

N: There is nothing like “not queer enough”. It’s not a contest who is more queer. It’s about you and how you feel.

TMG: Do you have any tips for people who are thinking of trying out different presentations or undergoing some sort of transition?

N: Go step by step and see what you are comfortable with.

TMG: What do you think about the depiction of queer people and identities in popular media?

N: It’s getting more normalised, and I think that’s good.

TMG: Agreed. Though it would be nice to see more of the lesser-known ones.

N: Yes. Maybe there will be. Especially people like me.

TMG: What do you think about queer fashion and style? Do you have any particular preferences in regards to this?

N: I wear very neutral and unobtrusive things. Usually just something in black or grey. I don’t like to stand out. The only thing where I stand out is my swimwear.

TMG: I see. Do you have an interest in other people’s fashion?

N: Not really.

TMG: Fair enough.

TMG: Do you think that there is any correlation between neurodivergence and being queer?

N: Yes. I think there is. I am also autistic, and it seems there is an unusual number of autistic people in the queer community. But I don’t know if this is something neurological or if autistic people have fewer problems with accepting traits that are more outside of the norms in the population.

TMG: Or we see less of a point in things like gender, maybe.

N: Yeah. Thats basically what I mean. Neurotypical people usually tend to stick to norms and don’t question these.

TMG: Sure. How do you feel about the interaction between queerness and religion?

N: I am not religious. I feel that a lot of strict religious groups have a very problematic attitude toward queerness. I think they should question why their god would even create queer people if he doesn’t want queer people. I also think that these people sometimes use religion to suppress their own queer tendencies.

TMG: What does pride month mean to you?

N: Not much for me personally. I think we should show some presence all the time anyway. The month didn’t really change a lot for me.

TMG: Well, we’re just about finished here. Do you have anything to say that I didn’t cover?

N: Well, there’s nothing that comes into my mind. If you don’t want to know anything else, that’s okay with me.

TMG: Okay. Well, thank you for answering.

3.

TMG: What is your full identity in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation? What pronouns do you use?

Luma: I’m asexual, on the aromantic spectrum, bigender female/non-binary, and my pronouns are she/her, fe/fer, and fey/fem. The latter two I made up by taking she/her and they/them pronouns, and then switching out the sh, h’s, and th’s to f’s.

TMG: I see. When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

L: I’m 21 now, the whole process started like 2 and a half years ago. It wasn’t just one moment of sudden realization, but a series of trying new labels, and eventually finding ones that fit.

TMG: Fair enough. How has being queer affected your life, including relationships with your community?

L: So, growing up, I always felt like I was different from the people around me, and while being queer wasn’t the only thing that contributed to that, since I’m autistic, it sure hadn’t helped. Not being interested in sex at all, and romance being this thing that kinda sounded nice, but certainly wasn’t a priority to me or something I cared about all that much, while other people around made those things so important, it really made me feel alone. But then I eventually found the words for my feelings and other people who had similar feelings to me, and that has made me so happy!

TMG: Cool. So it sounds like it definitely had a positive effect on your mental state as well.

L: Yeah, it definitely did.

TMG: What would you tell a young queer person? Or someone specifically on the nonbinary, asexual, or aromantic spectrum. And what would you tell a person who doesn’t feel like they fit into the community, like they’re “not queer enough” or too good at passing?

L: What makes you asexual, or aromantic, or nonbinary, or another queer identity is that that label makes you happy. No matter what anyone else says, if that label fits right to you, then it’s right. And if a label doesn’t feel right (or right anymore), you can get rid of it. Trying new labels is always an option, these aren’t set in stone. And there’s no such thing as being “not queer enough.” If you don’t neatly fit into the box society has placed you into sexuality or/and gender wise, then you’re queer. And despite the gatekeepers, i promise you there are queer people out there who will love and support you.

TMG: Well said. On that note, do you have any tips for people who are thinking of trying out different presentations or undergoing some sort of transition?

L: Make sure to be safe, and that the people around you when trying new things are people you trust.

TMG: Good advice for a lot of situations. What do you think about the depiction of queer people and identities in popular media?

L: I think it’s generally getting better, but we still have a long way to go. Like there are more and more characters that are queer in popular media, but as an ace, aro, enby person there are still examples where it kinda feels dehumanizing when the only characters in the work with my identities are robots or aliens or stuff like that. Don’t get me wrong, robots and aliens are cool, but you know, I’m not either of those, I’m a human being, and I’d rather not be equated to being “not a person.”

TMG: Yeah, I can understand that. Or when the only queer (often nonbinary) character is morally suspect.

L: Yeah.

TMG: What do you think about queer fashion and style? Do you have any particular preferences in regards to this?

L: I think it’s pretty cool! Breaking gender barriers about what people are “supposed” to wear ends up with a lot of interesting experimentations with clothing. For my own preferences in clothes, I tend to generally like clothes that are considered quite fem (like lolita fashion), but i don’t think that should stop anyone from wearing it. You don’t have to be female to want to be cute and pretty.

TMG: Honestly, yeah. For one thing, I feel like women’s fashion is way more interesting than men’s.

L: Yeah, I agree; modern men’s fashion is kinda boring.

TMG: Also, lolita outfits are very cute, albeit probably pretty impractical.

L: They’re so pretty! I fell in love the moment I saw them. (And it’s not that impractical if you do a toned-down coord, but yeah, over-the-top coords are pretty impractical.)

TMG: Anyway, do you think that there is any correlation between neurodivergence and being queer?

L: I’ve heard there is, but I haven’t really looked at any data about it, so I’m not sure.

TMG: It does seem like an awful lot of people I know who are one of those are also the other.

L: Yeah, true.

TMG: How do you feel about the interaction between queerness and religion?

L: I’m religious, and I think quite a few religious people tend to forgot that “love everyone” includes queer people. Like, even if you think someone is doing something wrong, that’s no excuse to hate them. And being queer isn’t an action or a thing people do, it’s a thing people are, so why the judgement?

TMG: Yeah. I can somewhat understand why a person would have prejudice based on someone’s ideology, but it being related to something that they can’t change about themselves is pretty stupid. And doesn’t it seem like they don’t listen when people try to explain why it’s not wrong?

L: Yeah. I think a lot of people don’t like being wrong about something, so even if something they believe doesn’t make sense, they’ll just dig their heels in more.

TMG: Yeah. And that’s true for a lot of people on a lot of different sides.

L: True.

TMG: Do you have any further thoughts about people not accepting queer identities?

L: Also, it just really sucks when queer people don’t accept other queer identities. Like, they’re already queer, you would think they’d understand being discriminated against, but they still do it towards other queer people.

TMG: Seriously. I feel like ace people get that a lot. And enbies who don’t look androgynous.

L: True!

TMG: What’s something that you wish more people knew about being queer, or any other specific identity?

L: One thing I haven’t mentioned yet is the split attraction model. Once I found out about it, and specifically platonic and aesthetic attraction, my life made so much more sense!

TMG: Oh yeah. I feel like alterous attraction also doesn’t get much attention.

L: True! I think I’ve only really heard of it a couple times before now. (And I had to look it up again, because I didn’t immediately remember what the word meant.)

TMG: What does pride month mean to you?

L: For me, a big part of it is getting together with other queer people and talking about our experiences and other stuff. I haven’t gone to an in-person Pride (and I don’t know if I ever will; large groups of people can be pretty overstimulating), but I’ve enjoyed doing things with other queer people online during pride month.

TMG: Do you have anything to say that I didn’t cover?

L: Nah, I think I got all of it.

TMG: All right. Well, thank you for your time.

L: And thank you as well!

4.

TMG: What is your full identity in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation? What pronouns do you use?

Makayla: I use she/her pronouns. I identify as aromantic.

TMG: When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

M: Well I found JaidenAnimations’s video on being aro-ace and it really made a lot of sense to me. I related to a lot of the experiences she shared in that video, and I realized that “oh, maybe I’m aromantic too”. That was probably 4 or 5 months ago. I’m 15 now.

TMG: Cool. I should look into her stuff. How has being queer affected your life, including relationships with your community and your mental state?

M: Well, thankfully, my family and community are extremely supportive of the queer community. I’ve never felt unsafe because of who I am, even though I haven’t officially come out yet. I pay more attention to issues regarding queer people (same-sex marriage, trans rights, etc.) than I might have if I wasn’t queer. I don’t feel like it’s affected any of my relationships with friends or family. I can be myself without worrying about being criticized for it. That might be because a lot of my friends are also LGBTQ+ and they’re extremely supportive of everyone.

TMG: Nice. It’s good to have a support system. What would you tell a young queer or aromantic (or lesbian) person? And what would you tell a person who doesn’t feel like they fit into the community, like they’re “not queer enough” or too good at passing?

M: It’s okay to have crushes and it’s okay to not have crushes. You are the way you are and you wouldn’t be you if you were any other way. There’s not a hard line of “queer enough” to be a part of this community. I’ll support you no matter how you identify, and I know other people will too. It might take some time to find them, but they’re out there. You’re valid.

TMG: On that note, do you have any tips for people who are thinking of trying out different presentations or undergoing some sort of transition?

M: When I started going by a different name, I found it easiest to tell people my age first. I told my friends at school before I told my family. It was really helpful to see how the new name felt in everyday life and, once I was sure I was happy with it, I told my family. I told school friends first because I knew that if I didn’t like the new name, they wouldn’t have a problem with calling me by my birth name again. It was sort of like a test drive with a slightly different identity. It was really hard to get up the courage to tell my family. I waited a few weeks after deciding that I liked the new name to tell them because I didn’t know how they’d react. You don’t have to tell everyone at once that you’re transitioning or trying out a new name or some other change. It can feel really big and it’s okay to start with just a few trusted friends before everyone knows about it.

TMG: Do you consider your birth name a deadname at this point, or do you just dislike it and prefer the nickname?

M: Well, I don’t really dislike it as a name; it just doesn’t feel like me anymore.

TMG: What do you think about the depiction of queer people and identities in popular media?

M: The books I’ve read or movies I’ve seen usually don’t have queer people in them, and I don’t really play video games with major stories based around characters (I mostly play Minecraft). The representation I can come up with off the top of my head is all from one author. Rick Riordan has included some queer characters in his books, and they’re written really well. Alex Fierro from the Magnus Chase trilogy is genderfluid, Nico di Angelo and Will Solace in the Percy Jackson series are gay. Riordan doesn’t draw more attention to their relationships and identities than he does to other characters. He doesn’t set them apart. They’re just people trying to help save the world, and I love how he writes those characters

TMG: It makes you want to write more stories with queer people in them, doesn’t it?

M: Yeah. I recently made my first queer D&D character, and it felt good to feel comfortable starting a story about her backstory that I might publish someday

TMG: My current Pathfinder character is a panromantic asexual woman. Not that it’s ever come up. It’s cool when people get to express themselves and experiment with concepts through things like that.

M: It is.

TMG: What do you think about queer fashion and style? Do you have any particular preferences in regards to this?

M: I’ve never really cared about fashion that much. I wear jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. In the summer I wear jean shorts and a t-shirt. I honestly couldn’t care less about fashion trends. I only care about what I wear when I’m performing in something like a band concert or piano recital.

TMG: That’s understandable.

TMG: I forget, are you neurodivergent at all? Do you think that there is any correlation between neurodivergence and being queer?

M: No, I’m not, and I don’t know enough people who are (that I’m aware of anyway) to say if I think there’s a correlation

TMG: I see. How do you feel about the interaction between queerness and religion?

M: I don’t like that some people feel like they have to hide who they are because their family is religious. I also think that not everyone in a religious group feels the same way toward queer people, and it’s not fair to judge someone based on their religion. That being said, I recognize that there are religious texts that say it’s wrong to be queer and I know that these texts are important to religious groups. But also those texts are pretty old and the world has changed quite a lot since they were written, and maybe the ideals and beliefs in the texts should be reevaluated.

TMG: Yeah, I know what you mean. Especially hiding oneself. A lot of people, unfortunately, still don’t accept queer identities, or don’t accept some of them. Do you have any further thoughts about that?

M: I have two friends who aren’t exactly accepted by their family (that I’m aware of). One friend’s father doesn’t accept that they’re transitioning from male to female, and the other goes by a different name and pronouns at school than they do with their family because their family doesn’t really accept queer identities. I don’t like that my friends can’t be themselves all the time. I don’t like that some people think being queer is “wrong” or “sinful”. Usually, I don’t care what people believe, but this is one of the things I really do care about. I don’t care who you are. If you think being queer is bad in any way or that queer people are bad, we can’t get along. Nobody should ever have to hide who they are. Nobody should be afraid that they’ll be attacked or shamed for who they are. Let people be who they are.

TMG: For sure. I hope your friends find peace and acceptance. What’s something that you wish more people knew about being queer or aromantic?

M: We’re still people. We might be different from you, but everyone’s unique. There’s nothing wrong with being yourself, as long as it’s not hurting anyone, right? My sexuality or identity most likely doesn’t affect you. Also, if you let the way someone identifies destroy a relationship, I’m sorry, but you need to rethink your life.

TMG: What does pride month mean to you?

M: It means that we’re trying to be more inclusive. People are trying their best to make the world safer. It’s slow, but change always is. Pride month, at least, is progress. Hopefully more progress will be made. Hopefully people can learn to be accepting.

TMG: Indeed. Do you have anything to say that I didn’t cover?

M: No, don’t think so.

TMG: All right. Well, thank you for being here.

M: Sure!

5.

TMG: How would you like me to refer to you in the article?

Carmen: You can use my real name: Carmen Jarrin.

TMG: What is your full identity in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation? And what pronouns do you use?

C: I identify as nonbinary trans, and use she/they/he pronouns. My sexual orientation is queer.

TMG: When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

C: I am 42 years old. I came out as a gay man when I was 19, and came out as nonbinary just two years ago. It took me a long time to discover I was nonbinary, because the term didn’t even exist.

TMG: Yeah, I can imagine. I actually didn’t realize you were that old. I would have guessed at least 5 years younger.

C: Haha, thank you! I do look younger than my age.

TMG: How has being queer affected your life, including relationships with your community?

C: Hmm, that’s a big question; dunno where to start. I was hugely bullied when I was younger, in elementary and middle school.

TMG: That sucks.

C: I grew up in Ecuador, which is still a very conservative country in terms of gender

TMG: That explains the Hispanic names.

C: And i was always a feminine boy. I was definitely happier when I came to college in the U.S.; I made a lot of friends, especially women and LGBT folks. And more importantly, I found pride in who I was.

TMG: Nice. How has being queer, including your journey through finding out your identity, affected your mental state?

C: Well, in the past I’ve had a lot of shame around both my sexuality and my gender identity, which can be really rough on your mental health. I blamed myself for being different instead of blaming society for their homophobia and transphobia. Coming out really helped with replacing shame with pride.

TMG: Yeah, I’ll bet. What advice would you give to a young queer, nonbinary, or transgender person?

C: I would tell them to be patient with themselves and others. Coming out is a process, not a destination, so one doesn’t need to rush it and should only come out when one is ready. Similarly, family members and friends can have bad reactions initially and come around with time, education and patience. What drives them is usually fear or ignorance, but that doesn’t mean they can’t change. However, it is also ok to cut toxic people out of your life if necessary.

TMG: Fair enough. What would you tell a person who doesn’t feel like they fit into the community, like they’re “not queer enough” or too good at passing?

C: We all suffer from imposter syndrome, but there is no such thing as being queer enough or trans enough. We are all different, and if an LGBT identity seems right to you, you don’t need to measure up to others’ expectations. Being a Latinx immigrant, for example, my experience is very unique and different from white LGBT+ folks, and that’s ok. I have definitely felt out of place in gay clubs, or have been told I am not pretty enough. But we can’t let those norms dictate who we are.

TMG: On that note, do you have any tips for people who are thinking of trying out different presentations or undergoing some sort of transition?

C: I recommend starting different gender presentations at home or with people you are comfortable with, who will hopefully be affirming. Those first steps are the hardest ones. I remember being terrified of simple things like using nail polish; it took a long time to get comfortable and use more feminine clothes in public. But again, everyone is different and what worked for me might not work for others. I have no plans to medically transition, so not sure I have valid advice on that front.

TMG: I see. What do you think about the depiction of queer people and identities in popular media?

C: I think it’s finally improving, but it still needs a lot of work. Trans and nonbinary people in particular are underrepresented, and there’s a long history of awful stereotypes about them in media. I love shows like Pose or Our Flag Means Death, which star trans actors and are written by trans writers; it makes a huge difference.

TMG: Yeah. I get especially sick of the one nonbinary character being the only nonhuman one, or the one with the most questionable moral compass. What do you think about queer fashion and style? Do you have any particular preferences in regards to this?

C: Yeah, I wear skirts all the time now; they make me happy. In general, I think we should degender fashion and allow AMAB folks to wear skirts and AFAB folks to wear suits without it being a huge deal. Clothing is still super gendered, unfortunately, but it doesn’t need to be. Billy Porter and Alok Vaid Menon are big fashion icons for me.

TMG: I think you’re right. Look at Rain Dove. They pull off both traditional male and female clothing pretty well and even model for it.

C: Yeah, Rain Dove is so cool.

TMG: They might be one of the few people who give me gender envy, honestly. And they’re practically a saint.

TMG: Do you think that there is any correlation between neurodivergence and being queer?

C: It’s possible! It definitely seems common. But not everyone who is queer or trans is neurodiverse. Maybe something about being neurodivergent makes you more open to exploring your sexuality or gender identity? Dunno.

TMG: Yeah, maybe. Or you care less about the expectations of society.

C: Exactly.

TMG: How do you feel about the interaction between queerness and religion?

C: I think religion, especially Christianity, has unfortunately been used to oppress LGBT+ minorities since the 1500s. There’s evidence that earlier Christianity wasn’t as intolerant, but its role in colonialism probably made it more prone to homophobia and transphobia. I’m a firm believer in the separation of church and state; you can have any beliefs you want, but you should not be able to impose them on others.

TMG: Exactly. Me being on a diet doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to eat donuts.

C: Yep.

TMG: Do you have any further thoughs about how a lot of people still don’t accept queer identities, or don’t accept some of them?

C: I am hopeful that the long arc of history bends towards justice, and LGBT+ identities will eventually be accepted everywhere. Gay marriage, for example, is now accepted by most Americans. So it’s a question of time, hopefully. Gen Z is much more open-minded than previous generations.

TMG: True. It seems like the presumed vocal minorities are louder and more vicious than ever, if they even are a minority, but maybe that’s because they’re scared? I mean the people who are against it.

C: Yes, plus politicians keep playing on those fears and telling them how scary trans people are. A lot of it simply because they politicize bathrooms and athletic competitions without need.

TMG: Honestly, the scariest trans people I know are the ones who are activists and the ones who are a little too obsessed with Halloween.

C: Hahaha. Yeah, we are pretty harmless.

TMG: What’s something that you wish more people knew about being queer, nonbinary, or transgender?

C: I wish people knew that it can be a very joyful experience. Especially being trans or nonbinary, there’s so many assumptions that it leads to an unhappy life or leads to violence, and it’s not always true. Many of us flourish and are happy.

TMG: Sure. What does pride month mean to you?

C: I love Pride, but I am not happy about how commercial it’s gotten. It has led to Pride being depoliticized somewhat. There are Pride events that are much more political and interesting; for example, Massachusetts has a Trans Resistance March that is much more political than mainstream Pride. We can party AND make demands at the same, you know?

TMG: Yeah!

TMG: Do you have anything to ask me?

C: I don’t think so! I got to ask you lots of questions when I interviewed you.

TMG: True that. Well, do you have anything to say that I didn’t cover?

C: I think we covered plenty! Do you need a picture or something for the interview? Your responses were great.

TMG: Nah, no picture necessary. Well, thanks for your time.

C: No problem! Happy to help.

6.

TMG: What is your full identity in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation? What pronouns do you use?

Jasper: I am a they/she in real life and usually a they/he in games.

TMG: When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

J: I dont remember when I discovered my identity nor how. Should mention I’m also pan?

TMG: How has being queer affected your life, including relationships with your community? Oh, and I guess you’d consider yourself nonbinary, then?

J: Ye. I have lost some friends.

TMG: That’s rough.

J: Because they did not understand.

TMG: I hate that. None of my family really understands either.

J: I have a mostly understanding family.

TMG: How has being queer, including your journey through finding out your identity, affected your mental state?

J: It hasn’t really affected my mental state.

TMG: You haven’t at least felt better being able to be more open about it?

J: It has a little.

TMG: What would you tell a young queer or nonbinary person? You’re only 13 yourself, right?

J: Right. Well, I have a nonbinary friend that is unsure if they are non binary or trans. I asked them questions like “Do you feel like you’re in the wrong body or gender?”, etc. At the end, I told them to go for nonbinary for now, and if they feel the same way in a few years, they are trans. Does that answer your question?

TMG: Well, that’s one specific person rather than general advice, but that works.

J: Okay.

TMG: What would you tell a person who doesn’t feel like they fit into the community? You know, that whole “I’m not queer enough” thing, or people who pass as cishet?

J: I’m not sure.

TMG: Okay. Do you have any suggestions for people who are thinking of trying out different presentations or undergoing some sort of transition?

J: I don’t really have any tips, because I have not gone through any transitions or different presentations, therefore I do not have the right experiences, so I cannot give the right tips.

TMG: Fair enough.

J: Although I do have a suggestion. I would probably say for them to not get mad when people misgender them or say the wrong name, just kind of be very, like, open about it, because it it’s kind of rude to get mad about something that they might not know or just accidentally mess up.

TMG: Are you satisfied with how many queer characters there are in media and how they are portrayed now? Do you wish that things were different? Do you think there should be more diversity in different identities?

J: I am not very satisfied with how queer people are treated in social media; I believe that they should just be accepted for who they are.

TMG: Do you have any thoughts about queer fashion and style, either in regard to other people or yourself?

J: No not really?

TMG: Do you think it’s more common for neurodivergent people to be queer or vice versa?

J: Hm, no.

TMG: Do you have any thoughts about the interaction between queerness and religion?

J: Well, yes, I believe that whatever religion you are, you should be able to be queer.

TMG: Do you have any further thoughts about other people still not accepting some queer identities?

J: Yes, I believe that it is wrong not to accept people for who they are, and I want it to stop.

TMG: What does pride month mean to you?

J: I believe it is a little stupid that we only get a month to be openly queer.

TMG: That’s understandable. Do you have anything to ask me?

J: No.

TMG: Okay. Well, thanks for your time.

7.

TheMartianGeek: How would you like me to refer to you in the article?

Kyra: Kyra. I don’t really have a properly chosen last name.

TMG: What is your full identity in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation? What pronouns do you use?

K: Current gender is MtF, transwoman, though I prefer to simply identify as female. Orientation, lesbian, fluctuating/evolving switch. Romantic I would say demisexual/sapiosexual. I can be attracted to anyone, but it’s more about intelligence and emotional connection first. She/her pronouns.

TMG: When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

K: I’ve always had an idea of my identity. Ever since I was young, maybe 4-5, I always felt like there was something different about me. But it wasn’t until I was a teen that I really realized what it was, though, because of growing up in the environment I did. I denied it, even got into a decade-long relationship to deny it. Something I wish I could change was when I finally began transition, at 29 a few months before my 30th birthday.

TMG: Are you 30 now, then?

K: Yes, as of April, sorry.

TMG: How has being queer affected your life, including relationships with your community?

K: For the better, actually. With the 10-year relationship, I became a shell of myself. Kind of just went through the motions of get a job, do online college, get married, etc. But in doing so, I started giving up things that made me me. It wasn’t until I ended up in the psychiatric ward because of a suicidal episode that I finally admitted to myself and the world that I am trans. Unfortunately, my now ex-wife divorced me for transitioning, so I’m dealing with the emotional baggage of that, as well as the damage from a relationship where I only now understand how toxic and narcissistic she was. Before coming out, I didn’t have much connection or community in my life. I do have some now, a small circle of friends and a much healthier relationship. I’m now polyamorous, and it’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. Before coming out, my community was comprised of bikers and religious people. So not great company being a bi kid.

TMG: So it sounds like the whole journey has improved your mental state quite a bit.

K: To a point. There is a lot of childhood trauma that I hadn’t began working on until recently. Within the last 3 months. But I no longer feel disgusted or confused when I look in the mirror. Not to say I don’t deal with dysphoria, I still do, but now I understand it and can deal with it more productively.

TMG: What advice would you give a young queer or trans person?

K: Don’t isolate, connect and find people to help lift you up on your journey. And those who want to tear you down or try to tell you who you are can go f*** themselves. Time is too finite and precious to waste on negative things. And when it comes to family, if someone says “They are still your family.” Genetics don’t make you owe them anything. Same with people who say “Blood is thicker than water.” I hate that quote; it’s always misused. The full quote is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” Meaning the bonds of friendship and love you make in this life are often stronger than the ones forced on you by family.

TMG: What would you tell a person who doesn’t feel like they fit into the community, like they’re “not queer enough” or too good at passing?

K: F*** gatekeepers. Don’t listen to them; people who want to gatekeep are just as bad as people who want to belittle and hurt you. We are all here, we all have one life. And there is no reason to not be nice to people. Kindness will prevail.

TMG: On that note, do you have any tips for people who are thinking of trying out different presentations or undergoing some sort of transition?

K: Don’t rush; it’s your journey. Go at your pace and walk your path.

TMG: What do you think about the depiction of queer people and identities in popular media?

K: I don’t waste a lot of time on popular media. Haven’t watched TV in probably 8-9 years. I still will see movies and find series to watch, but they are usually older or animated. And I get my news from groups online that are in the know.

TMG: I see. Well, what do you think about queer fashion and style? Do you have any particular preferences in regards to this?

K: Not really. My style has never aligned with what’s popular or current. I enjoy pride colors and being supportive but am still very much my own creature in terms of “style”.

TMG: Fair enough. Do you think that there is any correlation between neurodivergence and being queer?

K: Possibly. I haven’t looked into it a lot; I think mental health is a much more openly talked-about subject, though unfortunately still heavily stigmatized. So I think because of this, neurodivergence is more recognized in people at large.

TMG: How do you feel about the interaction between queerness and religion?

K: Depends on what religion you are talking about.

TMG: Any or all of them.

K: I have my own belief system that is rooted in paganism and Wicca, though it’s probably closer to spiritualism, not religion. With mainstream or organized religion, my opinion is this: I am not a sufferer of religious delusion.

TMG: Do you want to elaborate?

K: How much time do you have? 😀

TMG: It’s whatever. I’m eating lunch right now anyway.

K: But really, I just take issue with religions that are Judeo-Christian/Judeo-centric. Mostly because if you study history and are non-biased about it, the amount of violence that has come from those religions is unbelievable. Wars, hate crimes, mass genocide, ethnic cleansing. And I’m not just talking about Native Americans or Africans. I’m also referring to religions and cultures that predate Christianity, and the fact that any group that Christianity comes in contact with it either seeks to absorb or destroy, like them stealing pagan holidays.

TMG: Yeah… I’m reminded of a comic I saw once where some white soldiers are talking to some tribal natives, saying “If it wasn’t for us, you’d still be worshipping the sun!” and one of the natives saying “Dude…the sun is real.”

K: Right!

TMG: Do you have any further comments on people’s continued unacceptance of queer identities? Especially when they only accept some of them.

K: That’s what I mean about the religion seeking to absorb or destroy. They still do it now, but it’s under the guise of improving people’s lives, e.g., missionaries.

TMG: Wasn’t there a Terry Pratchett line about shooting missionaries on sight? (Jokingly.)

K: If there isn’t, there should be.

TMG: “The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that’s where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won’t do if they don’t know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.” ― Terry Pratchett, Eric

K: I’m gonna have to remember that. I quite like that.

TMG: Anyway, what’s something that you wish more people knew about being queer (or transgender)?

K: God, so much. Honestly, to learn to treat us as people and not fetishes or experiences while exploring themselves. It’s not just cis women who get objectified; it happens to people across the spectrum. I find it repulsive and dehumanizing.

TMG: I don’t blame you. What does pride month mean to you?

K: I unfortunately haven’t been involved in the community long enough to have a good answer. And I’ve yet to go to my first pride, so ask me in a year?

TMG: I see. Yeah, I just went to my first one this year.

K: So flip it, what does it mean for you? Now I am de captain I ask de questions.

TMG: Funny enough, my next question was going to be if you had anything to ask me.

K: So what does pride mean to you?

TMG: Well…I guess for me, it’s mainly a way to recognize that we are not alone, to realize that there are many other people out there who have the same feelings. It can be an opportunity to meet people who are accepting (gatekeepers aside). It’s also a way to celebrate diversity, and it’s an opportunity for people to have fun dressing up colorfully and such. I will say, though, I wish that I’d been better at talking to people at the one that I went to. And that the music hadn’t been so loud. (Those two things somewhat go together.)

K: Yeah. I’m still very much learning socializing. For a long time, I was a wallflower.

TMG: It’s hard.

TMG: Do you have any other questions for me? And do you have anything to say that I didn’t cover?

K: What made you start your blog?

TMG: I’m not entirely sure why I decided to start one, to be honest. I guess there were a couple others that I enjoyed reading, and I thought it would be fun to write articles, review things, make lists, and such.

K: Do you have anything else you’d like to ask?

TMG: Not that I can think of.

K: Awesome.

TMG: Thanks for doing this.

K: You are welcome. It was fun.

8.

TMG: For starters, how would you like me to refer to you in the article? I could use your real name, a pseudonym, or whatever.

M: Morganna is fine. Fae/faer pronouns if you fancy, otherwise she/her.

TMG: Okay. What is your full identity in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation?

M: Faegender, Faensexual (attraction), demisexual, probably panromantic? I’ve not contemplated that much.

TMG: Faensexual? Huh. I’ve not heard of that one.

TMG: Faesexual (without the N) is attraction to non-male people, right?

M: Yes, and faen includes demi-boys basically.

TMG: I see.

M: Theoretically, a more inclusive sapphic grouping.

TMG: When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

M: I settled on sapphic maybe 7 years ago and around 4 years ago found the term faensexual; before that, I identified as bisexual. I’ll be 50 shortly.

TMG: What about gender? You haven’t been out as transgender for very long, right?

M: Medically transitioning (HRT) since March 2019. Started socially transitioning some time in 2017, but not all at once.

TMG: I see. How has being queer affected your life, including relationships with your community?

M: Well, Teresa & I were previously volunteers in a religious community, and that was our social and support network. They were confused but accepting of asexuality, but not being gender-nonconforming. Essentially, we were removed from an position of service and our lease was terminated early right before COVID lockdown.

TMG: Jeez. Some people are just narrow-minded.

M: After that, it was leaning on our queer friends and chosen family to get through the cataclysm. I ended up changing my theology because of it. There was a bias that they couldnt see past even with people holding their hand through it. I’m much happier now so, silver lining.

TMG: Well, that’s good. So it sounds like your mental state has been affected a lot by the process.

M: Yeah. Without direct support and isolation my depression and anxiety got unmanageable. February to May this year, I was in an intensive residential program (IRTS) and afterward, I moved to supportive housing. It took most of a year, but I feel pretty good 🙂

M: Expressing who I am in my gender and exploring spirituality without boundaries both helped a bunch.

TMG: Well, I’m glad that you’re doing better now.

M: Thanks 🙂

TMG: What advice would you give to a young queer person? And what would you tell a person who doesn’t feel like they fit into the community, like they’re “not queer enough” or they pass too well?

M: If you say you’re queer, then you are, no qualifications or anything. Every single queer person started out with a realization and too many questions, and that’s okay. If you feel you don’t fit in, press past the butterflies and try your best. If they aren’t your people, keep looking, and online communities are valid too. Lastly, if your goal is passing, I honor that and I would do anything possible to help. In my journey, I’ve decided passing is a social construct and I don’t need the validation of the culture at large. I know who I am, and they are amazing, no mods, out of the box. That’s not to say I’m not taking steps to lessen gender and body dysphoria.

TMG: On that note, do you have any tips for people who are thinking of trying out different presentations or undergoing some sort of transition?

M: If possible, go shopping with friends, sizing will be weird, it’s okay to have fun with your look.

TMG: What do you think about the depiction of queer people and identities in popular media?

M: Oof. For the most part in film and TV, they still queer-code characters, but at least they are starting to cast queer people in queer roles. We are also seeing a trickle of queer-inclusive fiction coming out. It’s getting better, but it still seems so quiet against the noise of the opposition.

TMG: Yeah. Well, I hope I can help with that if I ever get any media published.

M: I’d love to see that.

TMG: What do you think about queer fashion and style? Do you have any particular preferences?

M: I don’t interact with popular fashion really. I’m more traditional goth/casual nerd and a sprinkle of DIY. The cuties on TikTok sharing their passion and joy for fashion and aesthetic, though, warm my heart. I love to see people in their element.

TMG: Nice. Do you think that there is any correlation between neurodivergence and being queer?

M: Neurodivergent folks are nonconformist in many ways, and that includes gender and sexuality. Coincidentally, most of my friends are neurodivergent and queer.

TMG: I’m gradually getting there.

TMG: How do you feel about the interaction between queerness and religion?

M: My experience is limited to Christian, pagan and mystic. The big C church is horrible to the queer community; they essentially promote our murder by not policing their own and actually following the teachings of the New Testament. There are a few churches that are inclusive, but then you still have to unweave the scripture from the indoctrination put in them by the big C church. Paganism mostly is inclusive and welcoming to the queer community, and people feeling a need to be connected to a higher power without the power structure of the monotheistic religions have found a place there. There are a few that stick to a very binary view of things, and if you’re elsewhere in the spectrum you’re reduced to a spectator. Mysticism I would include solitary and small groups practicing practices that are a mix of ceremony and experience. Shamanism and some types of witchcraft fall in these categories. Typically you’re not tied to a larger whole, so it can feel isolating, but anyone can practice these, assuming its not a closed practice.

TMG: Yeah, it’s really unfortunate how many people still don’t accept queer identities. Do you have any further thoughts on that?

M: Christian theology was a special interest, so I could go on. The persecution of gays in the church is blatant with a small amount of research. Beside that contextual study of what Christ actually said if understood would create a completely different organization that was radically inclusive and service-based altruistically.

TMG: What’s something that you wish more people knew about being queer? Or transgender, or whatever.

M: Finding your place in queerness is magical. It brings energy and life. And it’s evolutionary. It unfolds as you progress. Embrace the joy and revel in the understanding.

TMG: What does pride month mean to you?

M: To me, its a memorial month for all the martyrs and warriors that have made sacrifices so we can have public events. I make a point to share queer history, especially in that month.

TMG: Do you have anything to ask me?

M: What is the one thing you appreciate about the queer community most?

TMG: Finding people who are open-minded and accepting of differences.

M: One more. What can we do for our community that’s not in urban centers with queer culture?

TMG: Like conservative small towns? Provide safe spaces for people online where they can know that they are loved and are not alone, as well as information about how to escape unhealthy situations.

M: Great answers both. Glad I could contribute 🙂

TMG: Thanks. Do you have anything to say that I didn’t cover?

M: Not that I can think of.

TMG: Okay. Well, thanks for your time and mental energy.

M: It was a pleasure.

9.

TMG: How would you like me to refer to you in the article?

The Rosanna System: “Rosanna system”. You can quote us as that in general and by our individual names when we’ve given them.

TMG: Okay. No pseudonyms or anything?

R: No, we’re good, thanks.

TMG: Okay.

R: We’re open irl, and our legal name actually has the “&” in it, and that’s the plurality symbol

TMG: Huh. I didn’t know you could do that.

R: Yep 🙂 I mean…not all computer systems can use it 🙂

TMG: what about computer singlets

R: *laugh*

TMG: Well, what are your full identities in respect to gender and sexual/romantic orientation? What pronouns do you use?

R: Somewhat fluid on all counts. In general “they” is what we use. As a system collective, were we to put it on a census, it’d be “nonbinary demi-girl, demi-ace, panromantic, they/she”.

Trunks: Some of us are binary guys, he/him, but still not men; none of us are.

Courtney: I’m completely genderfluid as a plasmoid; Brooke is agender as a void.

Max: I’m probably the most binary girl, a woman, but I don’t mind being seen as an enby ^_^

Rosanna&: Most of us would like romance but would pass on sex.

TMG: Same, though. When and how did you discover your identity? And how old are you now?

R: I mean…excavations are still ongoing…

TMG: I guess some people find dinosaur bones, and others find genders and/or headmates.

R: We got onto Twitter in mid 2018, that’s when we first started learning about gender and sex identities. We knew about gays and lesbians, but that was it. Trans stuff was a confusing mess. The body is 30+ at the moment. We realised we were plural in late 2019; we had met a couple other systems and started to relate. We sought out the Rings system on YouTube and went from there.

TMG: How do you think being queer has affected your life, including relationships with your community?

R: Honestly, we’ve been privileged in our community and environment; it’s a mid- to left-wing town in the UK, the absolute opposite to what we’ve heard the US south to be. Also, we’re pan in that we’re more attracted to aesthetics than gender, so the people we had crushes on tended to be straight-passing. Also…nonbinary, genderfluid, tomboys; we didn’t have much dysphoria.

TMG: That’s good.

R: Plus we’re autistic, so any weirdness was probably assumed to be that.

TMG: Heh. I need to use that as an excuse myself…

R: Go for it, lol.

TMG: How has your journey of queerness affected your mental states, would you say?

R: Not that much, I don’t think. But then, there was plenty of other stuff to traumatise us. Like…we’ve had a great life overall, but there have been some real challenges. And most of our journey to understand our queerness happened during the pandemic.

TMG: Well, I hope you can find peace.

R: Thanks, I think we’re getting there.

TMG: What would you tell a young queer person? And what would you tell a person who doesn’t feel like they fit into the community? Like they’re “not queer enough” to claim the label because they just pass as cishet and don’t feel like they’ve had the same struggles?

R: There are a few guys in this system, the body is AMAB, yet they’re still trans because they’ve travelled through gender. So even if you actually are technically almost cis, you can still be trans because you’re queer and you’ve made the journey. No such thing as “queer enough”. Also, don’t rush it. And don’t worry about changing your mind sometimes.

TMG: On that note, do you have any tips for people who are thinking of trying out different presentations or undergoing some sort of transition?

R: How will you know if you don’t try it. *shrug* But also, don’t rush it? For undergoing transition, it depends on how. Dressing different and playing with a different name for a bit is fine to do on a calculated whim. Anything medical should be through a doctor. As for surgery…ask around about side effects from multiple sources. Go for it, but don’t rush it. It’s a balance. Or another way, go for starting on the path, but don’t force yourself to find the end in any reasonable timeframe.

TMG: What do you think about the depiction of queer people and identities in popular media?

R: I’m honestly not sure what I think of the depictions in media, except that they seem to either not try at all or try too hard. Or throw it in for the sake of “hey look how totally woke we are” while being shallow (live-action Beauty and the Beast comes to mind).

TMG: Yeah, while it seems like things are improving, it’s not fast enough.

R: Yep.

TMG: What do you think about queer fashion and style? And do you have any preferences for that yourself?

R: None of us are really fashion-conscious, so we can’t really answer this :’)

TMG: Fair enough. You just wear whatever and don’t do much in the way of makeup, then? oes that vary any depending on who is fronting?

R: We do have color preferences, but we do prefer simple clothes. We have tried makeup, but it’s not been worth the effort (but then, our mom only wears makeup on special occasions, so nature vs. nurture there, lol).

TMG: Yeah, my mom is the same way.

R: Clothing does slightly vary depending on who’s fronting, but not majorly.

TMG: Do you think that there is any correlation between neurodivergence and being queer?

R: Pretty sure scientists have already found good evidence that there is. Can’t remember the vid, though.

TMG: How do you feel about the interaction between queerness and religion?

R: Oof! This one :’) They should be relatively separate, in the same way there should be a separation between church and state. You shouldn’t feel pressured in gender or sexuality because of religion.

TMG: Do you have any thoughts about people still not accepting queer identities (especially less common ones)?

R: Yeah, but the only word I think is safe for publication is “pathetic”.

TMG: Makes sense to me. What’s something that you wish more people knew about being queer? Or nonbinary, transgender, or any other specific identity.

Max: Concerning the media question; if you’re gonna give players the choice of romancing a same sex character, don’t put the big kiss moment behind the ending where one of them dies! 😡

Rosanna&: Yeah, we all agree that Life Is Strange was a missed opportunity.

TMG: What does pride month mean to you?

R: It means a lot more people give it some thought and attention, which it still needs. We’ve not been to a pride event yet, but we’d like to.

TMG: I hope you get to go.

R: Thanks.

TMG: Do you have anything to ask me? Or anything to say that I didn’t cover?

R: Not that we can think of

TMG: Okay. Well, thanks for your time and for doing this.

R: No probs, we enjoyed it 🙂 Thanks for inviting us to take part, and we hope it goes well.

Tags: blog, interview, LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQIA+, LGBTQP2S+, pride month, queer, queer pride

Quick multi-review #5: Various library books, May-August 2022

I have nothing in particular to introduce this batch with, so let’s just get right into the reviews.

Artemis Fowl: Guide to the World of Fairies

This is one of those “in-universe reference material” kind of books. It describes the different fairy species in the main series from the perspective of one of the characters, along with notes from other minor characters. The dwarf section started to get a bit annoying after a while, and so did the pervasive holier-than-thou attitude. Even as someone who agrees that humans are horrible and would probably embrace transhumanism if it ever became viable in real life (and good luck with that; this society has a hard enough time accepting trans humans, let alone transhumans), the constant comments about how much better fairies are than humans got old fast. And anyway, if fairies are so perfect, then why do people like the evil goblins, the violent demons, Opal Koboi, and Turnball Root exist? And why couldn’t they have coexisted with humans originally rather than running away from them and hiding underground? (I can tell you the Doylist reason: because if they did that, then the series would be very different and would be alternate universe fiction rather than simple urban fantasy.) Also, it’s a common error, but methane is odorless. While it is a major component of farts, the gases that actually make them stink are different and include things like hydrogen sulfide. Anyway, there’s no actual narrative to speak of here, but I suppose it’s amusing for a while, and it’s interesting to learn more about the different kinds of fairies, with some information not present in the main series.

Rating: C

Notes From a Small Island

This is a nonfiction book about an American man who sometimes lives in Britain and explores the place. He’s occasionally ruder than is strictly necessary, such as with the apple turnover thing. I would have liked more comparing and contrasting the US and the UK, including linguistically. There was some of that, but most of the book just seemed to be more or less a travel journal; he want to location A and looked at X, then he went to location B and ate at restaurant Y, and so on. The length of this review should tell you how much of it even stuck with me.

Rating: C

Henry and the Clubhouse

It’s another Beverly Cleary book; how much do I even need to say? Well, okay, it’s not a Ramona book this time; it’s part of Henry Huggins’s series instead, which actually came before Ramona’s. He has a newspaper route (do kids even do those anymore? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that come up in anything that takes place after about the ’70s), which he tries to do his best on but has occasional problems with, particularly selling subscriptions. His dog Ribsy also ends up in a fight with the new neighbor’s dog when he goes over there for the first time, and Ramona is around and bugging him. Meanwhile, he and a friend are trying to build a clubhouse, with the money from the paper route going toward materials for that. The friend wants it to be only for boys, which is dumb, but I can just file it under both “people being weird about gender” and “people being old-fashioned”. At one point, Ramona locks Henry in the clubhouse, resulting in her going to Beezus for help and him having to give away the secret password. In the end, he ends up being nice to Ramona as she follows him around on the route, and the new neighbor notices his kindness. Like I said, it’s another Beverly Cleary book, but the ending was cute and satisfying enough that I’ll give it an extra point.

Rating: B

The Sisters Grimm #1: The Fairy-Tale Detectives

This is another of those books that I had read before but so long ago that I didn’t remember much about it. Now, it’s focused on fairy-tale characters, and frankly, I’ve kind of seen too many fractured fairy tales already; it’s a pretty popular theme these days. I remember back when I did the 4-H drama festival as a kid, my group was the only one who didn’t do some fairy tale play most of the time. And unlike something like Shrek that goes for comedy and having fun with it, The Sisters Grimm goes for more of a detective thriller kind of angle, or at least as close as you can get with middle-grade fiction. Our protagonists—and the eponymous sisters—are Sabrina, the jaded, cynical skeptic who must constantly be proven wrong, and Daphne, the cheerful child who somehow never gets taken advantage of for being too trusting. They’re orphans who end up getting taken in by a mysterious German woman who is actually their grandmother, though Sabrina is convinced that she’s just a lunatic, especially once she starts talking about fairy-tale characters being real. As it turns out, they’re descended from the Brothers Grimm, who were actually detectives who dealt with deeds perpetuated by various fairy-tale characters, or Everafters as they’re called in the book. In this case, there’s a house that got stepped on by a giant, which later proceeds to show up and kidnap Granny Relda and her servant Mr. Canis (who is actually the Big Bad Wolf). They get into various misadventures with magical creatures, spring Jack (of Jack and the Beanstalk) from jail in an attempt to get rid of the giant, infiltrate a party put on by the mayor (none other than Prince Charming, and not at all one to live up to his name), and eventually find out the truth and send the giant back to his own kingdom.

Now, the premise of the book/series is somewhat original, as fairy tale references go, but it could be a bit frustrating to read at times. The kids have few allies; most of the Everafters want them dead, because they’re essentially imprisoned in the town for the safety of the rest of the world, and only the girls’ presence is preventing them from being free to leave. Some of the characters could grate on the nerves, too. Puck, in particular, was one of those characters who was so annoying that he actually distracted from the story, and what comeuppance does he get for being an obnoxious brat? He gets to move in with the Grimm family, where he can torment them even more, for reasons. I might have given this book a little higher rating, but Puck alone was enough to dock it a point or two, and I dread him being a more prominent character in the rest of the series.

Rating: C-

The Sisters Grimm #2: The Unusual Suspects

This ticked me off even more than the first book. For one thing, Puck is even more prominent in this one, as was unfortunately expected. The universe also hates Sabrina even more, so we get treated to a lovely montage of her getting humiliated. Also, there’s a spoiler that I read on the wiki for the series that I found really questionable: apparently, Sabrina and Puck actually get married at the end. Considering just about all of his interactions with her consist of him being a jerk to her, that is absolutely vomit-inducing. Unless he does a complete 180 in personality (well, maybe a 135, since he’s at least not a straight-up villain), that is some Stephenie Meyer-tier cringeworthy romance. The two girls start school in the town and have some fairy-tale characters as teachers, such as Snow White for Daphne, and most of the other children seem mysteriously sick and tired. Then people start getting murdered, the protagonists get chased by monsters (literal and figurative), and well, folks, looks like we’ve got another mystery on our hands. As far as the half-humanoid monsters went, though, I totally called Bella being the frog-girl. I probably should have figured out that Toby and Natalie were the other two monster kids, but Bella especially stood out because she didn’t even get the “school kid antagonist” interactions that the others did and yet was the only other kid in class to be named; she was the equivalent of a character in an RPG who seems to be just another NPC but has a portrait when none of the others do. There are a couple of noticeable typos, or at least wrong word choices; somebody does “a mischief”, there’s a mention of “leaches” that should be “leeches”, and rabbits aren’t rodents, but that’s nothing compared to the problems I had with the actual plot. I’ve already brought up how obnoxious Puck is, but in general, Sabrina just gets dumped on, and I got really sick of the fighting between the family members, especially between Sabrina and, well, everyone else. I get that the villain was partly causing her to be that angry, but it was still frustrating to read. And what, is it supposed to be a metaphor for teenage hormones or something? The whole thing with the Pied Piper and the monsters was actually kind of creepy for a kids’ book, too. Then there’s a scene where Mr. Canis along with Rumpelstiltskin gets blown up, and while I don’t believe for a second that either of them actually died, it could be pretty shocking to a kid. And after all that, it had the audacity to end on a freaking cliffhanger.

This book…oof. This is one of those cases where I felt like throwing the book across the room on several occasions but didn’t because it was a library book, and then I got to the end and actually did throw it across the room. But the beginning and middle were no better; nearly everyone and everything got on my nerves in some way. At least Snow White was one good character…why couldn’t she have moved in with the Grimms instead of Puck the Suck? There are seven more books after this, but I’m not sure that I want to continue with this series. The Sisters Grimm #2 is probably the least satisfying book that I’ve reviewed on here since I started doing these; if I’d known how starkly it would contrast with Henry and the Clubhouse, I would have read these first (if at all) and then that as a palette cleanser. There are two wolves inside me: one represents the childlike wonder of someone who loves reading and is excited to explore new stories, while the other one represents the bitter cynicism of someone who’s been burned on books too many times and is sick of dealing with their crap. And if Henry and the Clubhouse did a good job bringing out the first wolf, this book was a fine choice for bringing out the second one. If you have a thick enough fourth wall for all the “characters driving each other nuts” energy not to spread beyond it and become contagious, go ahead, but I’m pretty sure that I personally have better things to read.

Rating: D+

Babel No More

You know, I really should stop checking out multiple adult nonfiction books at the same time; they take 10 times longer to read than everything else. That’s not an exaggeration, and in fact, it’s actually an underestimate if you count it by number of days elapsed between the start of reading them and the end. Anyway, this is basically a novel-length essay; the author discusses hyperpolyglots, people who know a large number of languages, with a special focus on one Giuseppe Mezzofanti, an Italian cardinal born in 1774. In fact, the book closes with a sort of bookend, with the last paragraphs of the book having the narrator on a boat ride in Italy talking about Mezzofanti to tourists. He also discusses what processes would necessary to learn that many languages, how likely it was that people who claimed to be hyperpolyglots actually knew all the languages that they said they did and how well, and related topics. The book was a bit dry, but I have no particular complaints.

Rating: C

The Enchanted Files #2: Hatched

This book is set in the same world as the first one, but with different characters. This time, the narrator is a griffin who feels like a misfit because he’s not brave and proud like his siblings. He needs to find treasure for his griffin equivalent of a bar mitzvah but is too timid to go on adventures, so he runs away to the human world and ends up making friends with a human by chance. In the process, he does end up finding his treasure, of course, and is even admired by his siblings for his bravery. So everything works out. Overall, I liked this better than the first book, despite having fewer things to say about it. (Well, it is easier to complain than praise.) The stakes were lower, and the protagonists were more likable (not that the previous ones were unlikable, but I did prefer this cast). It was cool to have a griffin as a narrator, too. For as popular as mythical creatures and nonhumans are, the amount of media with them as main characters is, in my opinion, considerably lower than it ought to be. But yeah, it was fun.

Rating: B

You Go First

This is about two kids who become acquaintances online due to playing online Scrabble together frequently, as well as both having some difficulties with their lives and their families’. Oddly enough, despite the title being a reference to said Scrabble games, those seemed to figure surprisingly little into the plot. For that matter, it barely felt like one story about two characters; it felt more like two stories that happened to cross paths occasionally. It had kind of a choppy writing style, too, with short sentences and chapters. Much of the remaining plot development involved a lot of sordid middle-school drama that reminds me how glad I am to have been homeschooled, and the payoff was pretty wimpy; the story kind of felt like it was missing an act at the end, if it even had any sort of real structure at all. To me, the story seemed rather tepid and forgettable overall. It was fine, but merely fine.

Rating: C

The Tail of Emily Windsnap (#1)

You know, media creators really need to stop playing on “tail” and “tale”; that is easily in my top 5 most overused puns. (And yes, I have an actual list.) It could be worse, though; at least they’re not saddling the hero with “fate” or “destiny”, or spelling words wrong or in an old-fashioned way for an attempt at mystique (any time a story talks about a “faerie”, “vampyre”, or “magick”, I’m already rolling my eyes and looking at it through a jade-colored lens). They’re also not making an entire species have the same personality traits, which is probably the speculative fiction trope that needs to die the most of any of them. Anyway…our narrator, Emily Windsnap, is forbidden from going in the water by her mother, and then when she decides to do it anyway, she turns into a mermaid, which is shocking at first but feels really good once she gets used to it, like she’s finally complete. (One could make a transgender analogy here, but I doubt the author actually intended one. I guess that makes Emily FtM: Female to Mermaid.) She finds out that she’s half-merfolk, and her father is missing in the ocean somewhere, so she naturally wants to try to find him. Along the way, she makes friends with another mermaid (a whole one), and the two of them eventually rescue her father from being imprisoned for falling in love with a human and even appeal to Neptune to change the law.

While it wasn’t an action-packed story by any means, it was still a pretty good one. There were some nice moments of family and friendship, as well as discoveries of new things, without any need for any overarching calamity. Even the antagonists turned out not to be so bad in the end. I liked the book, and I know there are at least four more in the series, so look forward to those in the future.

Rating: B

Ramona Quimby, Age 8

It’s time for another Ramona book, and this one probably had more influence on the movie than any of them. It’s also one of the few that got a Newbery Honor, but don’t hold that against it. This time around, Ramona starts third grade, which involves a series of calamities. She gets teased by a boy, accidentally cracks a raw egg on her head and gets embarrassed, has conflict about whether or not her teacher likes her, gets sick and throws up in class, and has to babysit her annoying neighbor. In the end, though, her misunderstanding with the teacher does get cleared up, and when the family goes out to eat, they realize that everyone has bad days sometimes but can still have good ones.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but this entry in Ramona’s series seemed a bit more somber than previous ones. (Maybe that explains that Newbery nomination; I’m pretty sure that it’s impossible for a book to get one of those if it’s not angsty. But this book was clearly too fun and not angsty enough, which is why it didn’t win the actual award.) She spends a lot of time feeling down, either physically, emotionally, or both. Other than that, it didn’t really stand out from any of the other books in the series that I’ve read or reviewed on here.

Rating: B-

How to They/Them: A Visual Guide to Nonbinary Pronouns and the World of Gender Fluidity

This is kind of an unusual one. I’ve hung around enough queer communities that I already know perfectly well how to they/them, as well as ze/zir, xe/xyr, and e/em, but I thought it might be interesting to see what the author says about the subject. I can certainly think of people in my life who ought to learn more about the fluidity of gender. The author spends a good amount of time talking about all the things that go into gender identity, particularly as it relates to people who aren’t cisgender, including physical and mental. They also have a very positive attitude about the whole thing and talk about the joy that can ensue when one’s idea of gender finally clicks. I was on the fence about what rating to give this, and even now, I’m not sure. I’ll admit that I could have done without the drawings of genitals. (Why do private parts always have to get brought up whenever trans people are discussed?) Other than that, I thought it was done well. It felt like the author really cared about teaching this stuff and letting people know what it all means.

Rating: B

Squirm

Well, I’m pretty well out of Carl Hiaasen books by now. I haven’t reviewed Hoot due to having read it previously, but I’ve hit every other middle-grade book that he’s written. I’ve noticed that all of his books kind of feel like the same book, just with different characters, but the recurring elements make a fine story anyway, so it’s okay. In this case, our protagonist Billy is interested in snakes, serving up karma to people who are cruel to animals, and trying to find his missing father. Once he actually does track him down somewhere in the Montana wilderness with the help of his Native American stepmother and stepsister that he didn’t know he had, the two of them basically become vigilantes protecting endangered species from poachers, particularly one man who’s trying to kill both a Florida panther and a Montana grizzly bear and is willing to murder people to do it. It was certainly an adventure, and this one had some good character interactions.

Rating: B-

The Menagerie

This book features two child protagonists, starting with a boy who finds a baby griffin under his bed, which leads him to a girl with a reputation for being weird. As it turns out, she and her family are the keepers of a sort of nature preserve for mythical creatures, and the griffin is one of seven that escaped from the place. After Zoe shows Logan around the eponymous Menagerie, the two of them must track down the remaining griffins and get them back to their proper places before the place’s inspection. The concept is fairly interesting; I like mythical creatures in media, especially when they’re sapient and there are many different types, and having a refuge for them has potential. This was another book that ended on a cliffhanger, but I was more okay with it here than I was with the second Sisters Grimm book, because I hadn’t spent the rest of the book already in an irritated mood and because I pretty much guessed before I got to the end that it would have at least one sequel; there were only a few pages left in the book and too many unanswered questions. There wasn’t even a real antagonist; the most unlikable characters were the unicorns, who were incredibly bratty and could barely open their mouths without making some rude comment. They were so snotty that their stables should have been filled with Kleenex instead. They were also karma Houdinis, since they turned out to be the ones who let the baby griffins out because…they weren’t getting enough attention, I guess? When Logan said that the family should make the unicorns feel more special, I just thought “But why, though? They’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Are we supposed to reward them for causing all this trouble and for being utter jerks?” Beyond that, I also guessed that the librarian would be important later and that Keiko was actually a mythical creature. Some things seem like they’ll get payoffs later in the series, which is fine, assuming I can obtain the other books. It was a fun adventure and a good book to end on.

Rating: B+

Quick multi-review #4: Various library books, March-May 2022

We’re starting off 2023 with some long overdue unfinished business from 2022, some more book reviews.

Ramona the Brave

Well, we’ve seen what Ramona is like on the TV screen, so how about we delve into her stories in literary form? This isn’t the first Ramona book, but it’s still fairly early on, being the third one in the series (or second if you don’t count Beezus and Ramona). Before this came Ramona the Pest, but they didn’t have that one at the library at the time. In case you were wondering, this is the book where Ramona tries to use “guts” as a swear word. The other notable scene from this book that made it into the movie is when the workmen cut a hole in the house, and just like in the movie, people think she’s lying about that when she’s just being more dramatic about it than an adult might, which is always a feel-bad moment. Beyond that, she embarrasses Beezus by sticking up for her when some kids are teasing her, and her first-grade teacher is seemingly strict and unfeeling. The teacher also tells her that nobody likes a tattletale, which is stupid enough when a kid says it but is a really off-putting thing for an adult to say; it comes off to me, at least, as “don’t bother telling adults anything even when something is wrong or unfair”. The biggest thing that I remembered from reading this book previously (yeah, this wasn’t my first time, but it had been a while) is one of Ramona’s annoying classmates plagiarizing a craft project that she worked on and getting praise from the teacher for it, resulting in Ramona getting understandably ticked off and wrecking both of them (but then refusing to explain why she did it…gee, I wonder who trained her to do that?). At the end, Ramona gets chased by a dog, loses a shoe, and has to come up with a creative solution to such a problem, but she gets complimented for her courage, and all is well.

Rating: B-

Ramona and Her Mother

This is the fifth book in the series, and one that I hadn’t read as a kid. Ramona is partway through second grade in this one, and you can already see her being more mature, as she was more mature in Ramona the Brave compared to Beezus and Ramona (the book, not the movie with a similar name). See, this is one of the reasons why we like Beverly Cleary; she’s one of the rare authors who can not only write child characters realistically but do so with enough nuance to distinguish between a 4-year-old, a 5-year-old, and a 7-and-a-half-year-old. In this one, Ramona is faced with a friend’s annoying little sister (and offended by the suggestion that she was ever like that), an argument between her parents about a dinner mistake, a haircut that works out fine for Ramona but leaves Beezus upset, and Ramona deciding to wear pajamas to school and only realizing later that it wasn’t necessarily the best idea. The pajama incident results in an apparent betrayal of trust by her teacher, another argument, and Ramona feeling like nobody gives a guts about her and deciding to run away, which plays out much as it does in the movie. So yeah, this is the one where the heavy suitcase scene comes from. This is followed in turn by Ramona’s mother clearing up the conversation with the teacher and reaffirming her love for Ramona. Another fine entry in the series.

Rating: B-

The Time Garden

It’s another Edward Eager book. This is another one about time travel, if the title didn’t make that obvious enough. The child protagonists find a garden where they meet a magical toad-like creature called a Natterjack, who tells them (in a Cockney accent) that the thyme in the garden is magical and will let them travel through time and space depending on what type it is. (Yes, there are a lot of time/thyme puns.) They go back to various periods in history and often get into trouble. Something that I hadn’t realized before reading this is that the kids in this book are actually the offspring of one of the protagonists from Half Magic and Magic by the Lake, which was foreshadowed in the latter in a way that I didn’t notice. I think this is actually the second book that has this particular cast; I could probably find the first one, but I don’t know in what order the four books were written. It’s worth noting, too, that these children seem to be overall more practical-minded than their predecessors; at worst, Eliza can be impulsive sometimes (which gets her thrown in a dungeon when they visit a medieval queen). It was a decent enough book, but it’s another one that wasn’t noteworthy enough to stick with me that well, so I’m having a hard time coming up with things to say about it.

Rating: C+

The Enchanted Files #1: Cursed

The first of a relatively new series by Bruce Coville, who has written quite a lot of speculative fiction of different genres, some of which I read quite a bit growing up. This book centers around a brownie whose family is cursed to serve a particular human family until either both of them die out or the person who cursed them reconsiders, and a human girl who is ridiculously messy and freaked out when some little man shows up in her house and cleans her room. Naturally, the story focuses on the two of them teaming up to break the curse before they both go nuts. It’s an okay adventure fantasy, but there is one thing it does that almost invariably sours me on any story, and that is featuring traditional-style fae. While the ones in this book are at least a lot more child-friendly than most portrayals of them, I’ve noticed a distinct pattern with fairies in pretty much any narrative-based media intended for people beyond third grade, and that is that they are complete wastes of oxygen. Those molecules could have been taken in by a different, more worthy creature, such as mosquitoes, which at least make good food for bats. The problematic fairy in question is the queen, who is responsible for the aforementioned curse. She did because her daughter left the fairy world and ran away with a guy that she didn’t approve of. Because that’s totally a reasonable reaction. She also, at one point, threatens to execute one of the protagonists for protesting. You know, for fairies like that supposedly possessing the wisdom and life experience of centuries, they sure don’t ever seem to gain social and emotional intelligence or maturity beyond that of a 3-year-old. No offense intended to my actual 3-year-old niece, who probably has better morality and emotional stability than a lot of fairies you see. Yes, I realize that portrayals of traditional fae are supposed to make them seem inhuman, but the only thing they ever do for me is provide a sound argument for why genocide might be justified in a few cases, even if those situations are fictional. One could certainly write a story from an anthropological standpoint where the fae are no more evil or more good than humans, are just as wary of humans as humans are of them, are more similar to humans (or any other intelligent species in the setting) than either race assumes, can coexist with humans (or other intelligent species) without either of them getting murderous, are able to recognize and acknowledge different cultural standards and that any sense of cultural superiority is misguided and/or only relative to one’s own experiences, or any combination of the above, but how many stories have you seen that actually do that? tl;dr: Traditional fae are garbage, and they deserve death. At least in this book, though, the fairy in question is only in one scene and isn’t as terrible as a lot of them, so she’s not too much of a blight on the experience. From what I’ve seen, this is one of those stories where the different books are set in the same universe but feature completely different stories and characters, so we’ll see how the rest of them turn out.

Rating: C+

9 From the Nine Worlds

Since the next Magnus Chase book wasn’t available, I got a collection of short stories set in its world instead. When these stories take place compared to the main series, I’m not sure, but one of them focuses on a character who isn’t introduced until the second book, so I’m not very familiar with them yet. There’s a story for several of the different demigod characters and other creatures…and one of Samirah’s relatives who explicitly isn’t a demigod, which I’m fairly sure was just added to pad out the total story count to an even 9, because it sticks out like a sore thumb. The stories were fine in themselves, showing a few one-off adventures focused on one person each, and it was interesting to see some narrators other than Magnus. They did, however, typify one of the problems I have with short stories. They fortunately didn’t seem to suffer from the biggest problem I have with a lot of short stories, which is having unsatisfying endings due to abruptness or plot twists, but they certainly lived up to the “short” part; it felt like there was barely time to enjoy any of these little vignettes before it was time to end and switch to the next character. It’s a plus that they were all about characters who had all been introduced already, so there wasn’t that feeling of “this is all the time I get to spend with this character?!”, but it’s a minus that this is the only time in the series that we get to have other narrators (as far as I’m aware), and they all only get about a chapter’s worth of story to themselves (Samirah’s comes to mind as being particularly short). In summary, my problems with this book are not with the content, but rather with the format.

Rating: B-

The Hidden Oracle (The Trials of Apollo #1)

Here is yet another Rick Riordan series about Percy Jackson and his friends, except this time, it’s actually about Apollo. Apparently, he did something bad that Zeus didn’t like, so Zeus had to punish Apollo for it, which, if you’re not familiar with Greek mythology, is kind of like a yak getting mad at a human for being too hairy. In any case, as retribution for his Apolling behavior, Apollo loses his god powers and becomes an ordinary human boy until he can prove himself. Apollo is self-centered enough that I really can’t say it’s entirely undeserved, but sheesh, if every Greek god who acted like a jerk got turned into a human teenager, there’d be enough for an entire high school orchestra and Mount Olympus would be pretty darn empty. He meets a daughter of Demeter named Meg, not that either of them realize that at first, and the two of them try to combat the new threat: a trio of evil Roman emperors who are essentially back from the dead. The main villain of the book is Nero, the guy who supposedly burned Rome down while playing the fiddle and who lent his name to a CD-burning program first released in 1997. He’s also Meg’s abusive stepfather and has convinced her that his nice persona and his mean persona are two separate people and that she is at fault when the latter comes out, as abusers do. Frankly, Nero and his buddies are the lamest villains in one of these series yet; characters like Kronos (from the original Percy Jackson and the Olympians) and Gaea (from Heroes of Olympus) were ancient, powerful gods, while these jerks are just…guys. Even if they are some of the most famously psychotic Roman emperors, they’re still just human tyrants who think they deserve to be gods. I guess they, and Nero in particular, are the Mother Gothel or Gaston of the universe, being villains who are more likely to happen in reality compared to their compatriots, but they’re less entertaining because they don’t do anything cool like Maleficent or Ursula.

In any case, Apollo and Meg make it to Camp Half-Blood, go through several more ordeals, reveal a plot by the emperors to control the oracles and communication lines, and learn just who they’re dealing with. They eventually confront Nero himself, who escapes to prepare future villainous actions in the sequels. I can’t decide how this compares to any of the previous series in this universe; it does seem to raise the stakes and level of danger and drama compared to the first two series, which isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing, but I think I still liked the original better, and I would cite that as one reason why. I haven’t read a bad book by Rick Riordan yet, though, and this is decent enough.

Rating: B

The Fowl Twins #1

This is the first of a sequel series to the original Artemis Fowl, which I may review at some future date if I decide to do reviews of books that I previously read. Since this is the first thing in that universe that I’ve described on here, though, I’ll have to provide some backstory. Artemis Fowl is a teen genius (12 in the early books) from a rich and powerful family and wants to use his considerable resources both material and cerebral to gain even more money by extorting the fairy kingdom. He successfully kidnaps a fairy in the first book and ransoms her, and then the other seven books in the original series follow his future adventures with the fairies, various villains, and his own difficulties in being a good person. The Fowl Twins, on the other hand, focuses on Artemis’s little brothers, who were 3-4 years old in the original series and are now 11 and ready to get into their own wacky hijinks. Myles basically follows in his older brother’s footsteps, being an unabashed genius with no ability to relate to normal people and a habit of never using small words if a big one will do because his IQ is over 170. (You know…the trait that fiction writers always give their smart characters to show how smart they are, with no regard to how realistic it is. Heck, Marilyn vos Savant has an IQ of at least 186, possibly over 200, and she doesn’t talk like her sole resource for learning to speak was the unabridged Oxford English dictionary.) Beckett, meanwhile, is hinted to be smarter than average but hides it very well by being a complete space case. There’s also a new fairy named Lazuli who is a rare species hybrid, a miniature troll whom Beckett bonds with, and the villain, Lord Teddy Bleedham-Drye. Yes, that is actually what Eoin Colfer decided to call the guy. As character names go, that is barely a step above “Mike Rotch”, “Ivan Aufelich”, or “Kenny B. Meaner”.

As far as the tone goes, while the original Artemis Fowl started out relatively serious, this series pretty much goes for absurdity right off the bat, and it was a bit jarring at first. Once I’d picked my disbelief up off the floor that it had crashed onto, patched it up, and suspended it with stronger cables, I could continue with the story. The troll is basically the linchpin of the plot; Lord I. P. Knightley wants to use it as a game animal, while a secondary antagonist, a fiery nun from a secret society called ACRONYM (how meta), wants to kidnap and study it. The eponymous brothers want to rescue and befriend it (or at least Beckett does), and the fairy ends up getting caught up with them while trying to observe the situation, so naturally, the different groups butt heads and the twins have to figure out escape plans. Around chapter 12 or 13, the story seemed to hit its stride, once everything had been established and everyone had been portrayed. I will say that this book seems to have some rather odd pacing to it; it doesn’t really feel like a traditional 3-, 4-, or 5-act structure and more resembles a sine wave. The heroes get captured by the villains, they escape, they get captured again, they escape again, rinse and repeat for 354 pages. While the story does have a clear climax and resolution that one could point to, taking the nemesister out of the action entirely and leaving Lord Hugh Jass to make an improbable escape and cause trouble in the sequels, it doesn’t feel that much more climactic than most of the book. Eoin Colfer didn’t always seem to understand “show, don’t tell” either, given things like him telling us that the bad guy is, in fact, the bad guy and that we’re showing what happened after the cliff scene. Also, Lazuli was the only character whom I really liked all that well; Myles was so irritatingly smug that I didn’t even want to root for him, and Beckett somehow felt like a manchild despite being an actual child. It was decent enough entertainment while it lasted, I suppose; just don’t expect anything profound.

On a side note, at the time of this writing, the character page for this subseries on TVTropes is woefully incomplete. It’s not separate from the main Artemis Fowl one, it has almost nothing listed for the main characters, and several other very important characters are flat-out AWOL. Do any readers who are less lazy than me want to help fix that?

Rating: B-

Every Time I Find the Meaning of Life, They Change It

This was an impulse checkout. The witty title caught my attention, and I thought it might be worth a read. It can be summed up in pretty simple terms; each section begins with a quote from a philosopher or other famous wise person, and the rest explains why the author finds it useful, how it figures into his philosophy, and how the reader can take it to heart for their own life. It’s a bit dry, but there are some worthwhile quotes here if you’re the sort of person who finds those useful.

Rating: C

That Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Means

This is a book about words, specifically, a variety of words that often get misused. It discusses what the word is supposed to mean, as well as some other words with which it may get confused. I find it interesting to read about this kind of thing even though I don’t generally have trouble confusing similar words, but there actually were a few listed whose proper usage I hadn’t been aware of. I hadn’t really thought about the difference between “staunch” and “stanch”, for one (not that I’ve had much occasion to use either word); I knew that “regime” and “regimen” weren’t the same word but hadn’t really thought about there being some overlap in their meaning; I didn’t know that “ferment” could mean “stir up”; I had no idea that “perk” was short for “perquisite”; and I don’t think I knew that, in prescribed usage, “eponymous” actually refers to the person that a thing is named after rather than the thing (though Wiktionary lists both). I also doubt that many people are aware that “travesty” is supposed to mean more of a gross caricature or mockery of something rather than simply a disaster, but that’s a change that probably won’t be resisted much. Some other notable words that I either hadn’t heard of or didn’t know the dictionary definition of were conterminous, foment, fulsome, immanent (not the same as “imminent”), limn, meretricious, militate, prodigal, restive, tendentious, and venal. That said, ironically enough, the authors made a few mistakes in word choices themselves, such as confusing Kronos with Chronos (to be fair, even Rick Riordan screwed that one up) and using “preantepenultimate” to mean “fifth from last” when it clearly means “fourth from last” (look at the number of prefixes). There were a few typos as well, such as leaving one letter of a word unitalicized in the entries for deprecate and scarify and missing the second “i” in “horribilis”. Oddly enough, the copyright page was at the end of the book rather than the beginning as expected. I also wish that they’d touched on “amount” vs. “number”: they did include “less” vs. “fewer”, but surely more people confuse those than say “foment” when they mean “ferment”, right? (Another good one is “that” vs. “which”, but it’s been long enough that I don’t remember if that one was in there or not.) I thought it was an enjoyable enough read, anyway, and it could be a useful guide if you knead too fined a whirred and don’t no witch won two ewes.

Rating: B-

Have You Eaten Grandma?

This is another grammar book (or grandma book?). It covers a variety of aspects of the English language and how to use it correctly, such as the punctuation missing from the title. It even mentions some of the differences between British and American usage, and does so without being condescending to American English, which is refreshing. The writing style is entertaining enough, but unfortunately, I barely remember any details about this one, which I at least partly attribute to checking it out at the same time as the previous one and reading them right in a row; the two books kind of blurred together. So, uh…Gyles Brandreth and Lynne Truss OTP?

Rating: B-

With that, that’s all for now. Stay tuned for more reviews and other things later in the year. (Here’s hoping it won’t take me so long to get the next batch out….)

Movie review #5: Ramona and Beezus – M-m-m-my Ramona

Okay, I’ve actually watched quite a few movies since the last time I reviewed one, as well as some before that that I was planning to review at some point, but this one is noteworthy enough in the grand scheme of things, as well as different enough from most of the others, that I’m giving it its own review. For those of you who aren’t aware, Ramona and Beezus is a movie that is based on the Ramona books by Beverly Cleary, a series that was essentially a spin-off focusing on someone who was originally just a side character in her earlier Henry Huggins series but became popular enough to get her own books. Beezus wasn’t so lucky; she was a deuteragonist in Henry and Beezus, the book that ties Henry’s series to Ramona’s, and she shows up a good amount in Ramona’s series, being her older sister, but Ramona is ultimately the protagonist, and Beezus never gets any books herself. Ramona was also responsible for Beezus being called “Beezus”, incidentally; her real name is Beatrice, but according to the narrative, Ramona pronounced it as “Beezus” when she was little.

Now, Beverly Cleary’s books definitely hold some value and nostalgia for me. I read a number of them growing up, and I think they hold up just as well today. The series about Henry, Beezus, and Ramona is definitely her biggest and the one that I read the most, but I also liked The Mouse and the Motorcycle and its sequels, as well as Emily’s Runaway Imagination. I did read Dear Mr. Henshaw, though I remember little if anything about it other than it being kind of boring. Ironically (or perhaps not), that was the only book of hers to receive a Newbery Medal, though Ramona and Her Father and Ramona Quimby, Age 8 did get Newbery Honors. Which just lends further credence to my theory that the only books that ever get Newbery awards are either boring, depressing, or boring and depressing. Speculative fiction is straight-up barred from it, unless it’s really boring and/or depressing. Still, overall, Beverly Cleary’s books have been consistently good. In fact, I realized recently that she is probably my favorite author who doesn’t write science fiction and/or fantasy. She writes fiction that is realistic (well, okay, the ones about the talking mouse aren’t realistic), but it maintains a lighthearted tone and never gets too dry, nor, for the most part, does it depend on outdated stereotypes. At worst, there might be a few silly boy-versus-girl scenes, but in general, Beverly Cleary’s writing is pretty timeless.

So, given all that, you may think that this movie has some big shoes to fill. Whenever a book is made into a movie, the movie almost always seems to be worse than the book; the only exceptions that I can think of are Mary Poppins, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, and How to Train Your Dragon. Arguably, Shrek also counts, but the book version of that is so different from the movie that it might as well be a separate IP entirely. Winnie-the-Pooh and Babe were also at least as good as the book, whether or not they surpassed it. Ramona and Beezus, meanwhile, is based on an entire series, so it has the formidable task of trying to find an elegant way to cram 7 or 8 books into a standard-length film. Some things have to be left out by necessity; there simply is no way to touch on every story beat without rushing the pace or making the run time much longer (and splitting it into multiple movies or a TV series). And honestly? I think it did surprisingly well with that. It managed to combine and sequence events in such a way that rather than feeling like a bunch of unconnected scenes from eight or so separate stories, it felt like one continuous story. There were, of course, a few sacrifices that had to be made, most notably that Ramona and her family couldn’t go through the multi-year character development that they could in the books due to the movie taking place over a much shorter interval of time. They also, as a result, had to age up Ramona to being 9 years old, putting Beezus in her early teens to match. Ramona was 9 for part of the series, but not until pretty late in it. This has the side effect of a few of her behaviors and reactions to things, such as squeezing out an entire tube of toothpaste, feeling a bit less justified for her age. I didn’t happen to remember which books most scenes were originally from, but I did remember a few, such as when Ramona thought that “guts” was a bad word.

Now, if you’re not familiar with the books, the story centers around the Quimby family, mainly the two girls, Ramona and Beezus (hence the title). Beezus is the older sister who is the more practical, mature, and down-to-earth of the two, while Ramona is the younger sister who is more adventurous, imaginative, curious, and sometimes tomboyish, and her penchant for coming up with zany ideas and having a flair for the dramatic sometimes results in her getting into trouble, particularly when adults misinterpret her intentions or otherwise don’t communicate with her properly. (Adults are just the worst, aren’t they?) In the movie, the girls’ father loses his job (as seen in Ramona and Her Father), so Ramona tries to come up with ways to earn money, most of which go wrong. Later, Ramona has an accident with her school portrait and later gets sick in class from the stress of the family financial situation and the possibility of having to move away. The sisters try to make dinner for the family, mess it up, and get into an argument over it, only to reconcile later when the family cat dies. Meanwhile, her aunt Beatrice is in town and considering reuniting with her ex Hobart, whom I swear the movie makes seem oddly creepy and suspicious, but he turns out to be a perfectly nice guy after all. They eventually decide to get married, which makes Ramona angry over Beatrice supposedly getting taken by the guy. It escalates when the family plans to sell their house and, during an open house, Ramona falls through the floor of the attic and gets berated for it. As a result, she thinks “guts all of this nonsense” and tries to run away, only stopped by her mother tricking her into trying to carry a heavy suitcase and looking at some drawings of her that her father did, and the family reunites and makes up. In the final act, Beatrice and Hobart get married, and Ramona’s father manages to find a local job so that they don’t have to move, and they all live happily ever after.

Summary:

Plot: Good

I mentioned this earlier, but I think they did a good job making a coherent plot out of various events from the books.

Characters: Good

The characters are fine also. None of them feel unrealistic or flat, nor do they annoy me; they’re all pretty likable. I guess there are enough characters in the show that it’s difficult to really flesh out any of them other than Beezus and Ramona, but even with what little time we spend with them, a lot of their personality still comes through. I guess one very minor nitpick is some of the casting choices; in the books, Beezus is described as not especially beautiful nor ugly but with standard teenage imperfections such as acne and occasionally being awkward. She looks like a typical teenager, in other words. In the movie, she’s played by Selena Gomez, who looks like, well, Selena Gomez. It’s not that jarring, but one does have to wonder just what the guts the casting agency was thinking. Ramona’s actor seems fitting enough (though I get the feeling that her parents wanted a boy…who names a girl “Joey”?)

Effects: N/A

This is realistic fiction, so there were no special effects.

Dialogue: Good

I don’t recall anything standing out here.

Positives: They managed to adapt an 8-book series into a normal-length movie that, while obviously not a comprehensive recreation of the books, pieced together parts of them to make a new story, and it worked surprisingly well.

Negatives: I can’t really think of anything here.

Final rating: B+

Ramona and Beezus should please people who enjoyed the original books, and it’s not even necessary to have read them first. Ramona and her family are portrayed as being, above all else, human, with their own quirks and multifaceted personalities. There’s never a time when the story seems boring or annoying. It’s just a nice lighthearted romp. It’s also G-rated (nobody even says “fart” or anything), so it’s a movie that can easily be watched with even young children without worry of anything being inappropriate, while also not being too boring or childish for adults. I enjoyed it.

Quick multi-review #3: Various Oz books and other books, December 2021-February 2022

This will just keep being a theme, won’t it? Yes, we have another couple months’ worth of library books to review, and I just keep getting farther behind on these, but better late than never.

Various Oz books

I’m lumping these all together because despite being different stories, they’re all part of the same series and are similar enough that I’d be repeating myself describing the general plot beats. I had read at least the middle two of these before and possibly the first one, but it had been long enough that I didn’t really remember much about them before reading them again. And if there’s one thing that reading these all in a row made me realize, it’s that as an adult, I have rather lost my patience with the Oz books’ style of storytelling. They all kind of feel like the same book with a slightly different cast: some new character, possibly with a sidekick, joins up with an old one, or possibly multiple, ends up in Oz somehow, then this motley crew meanders around through various locations that are random and quirky and never mentioned again, gets into peril and then out again almost as quickly, eventually stumbles on the main conflict, confronts the villain and figures out how to get them to back down, then everyone goes home. Sometimes the main plot thread comes early on, and sometimes the story just kind of putzes around for a while before eventually settling. Even L. Frank Baum got sick of the series after a while, and he wrote the books. He’d never intended to write 14 of them and only did so because people kept asking for more Oz books, and honestly, it shows. If I made a regular habit of reading and reviewing these books, I might have to have specific sections to point out common plot elements like Troy Steele does with his Goosebumps reviews on Blogger Beware. Anyway, let’s discuss each book and its differences and unique parts individually.

Tik-Tok of Oz

(#8)

This is about a malcontent queen with delusions of conquest, a new girl from the good old USA who ends up in Oz, and the Shaggy Man, whose brother must be rescued from the Nome King, probably the most recurring villain of the series. (For whatever reason, LFB chose to spell it that way instead of the more typical “Gnome King”.) The titular Tik-Tok is a clockwork man, a loyal companion of the main characters since book 3 (Ozma of Oz) and basically a robot before the word “robot” even existed. (Seriously. Tik-Tok of Oz was written in 1914, and “robot” was coined in 1920 by a Czech playwright.) Oddly enough, Tik-Tok isn’t any more important to the story than any of the other characters, despite the book being named after him, and in fact, he doesn’t even show up until about a quarter of the way through the book. I guess it’s better than if this series were set in modern times, in which case “Tik-Tok of Oz” would refer to Ozma using her magic mirror to play 1-minute videos. The chapter titles are all alliterative, which doesn’t happen in the other three books in the series that I’ll be discussing, and the evil Nome King gets deposed by his much more reasonable second-in-command, which becomes a plot point later in the series.

Rating: C

Rinkitink of Oz

(#10)

This is about an obese king and his sour-tempered goat companion trying to regain his kingdom after it was conquered by foreign invaders. Despite the impression that the book may give, they don’t do it by weaponizing his annoying laugh. (Rinkitink is found annoying in-universe as well, though mainly by the goat, who is grumpy anyway. Well, he’s a jolly guy if nothing else, but I must say, he annoyed me too.) This book actually has some plot continuity from the previous one, where the new Nome King is Kaliko, the assistant crowned at the end of Tik-Tok of Oz, but for some reason, he seems to be way more of a jerk in this book than he was in the other one. Well, whatever. This actually wasn’t even originally an Oz book; the writer pretty much had to tack on an ending with Dorothy and friends to give it more mass appeal. For that matter, it was formerly titled “Rinkitink in Oz”, which makes more sense anyway. It’s forgettable even for this series, though.

Rating: C

The Lost Princess of Oz

(#11)

This time, the main conflict happens immediately. Ozma, the ruler of Oz, has gone missing, along with several magic items from various people, so Dorothy and the others must find out who stole them and get the items and Ozma back, passing through various strange towns along the way, as one does. They confront the villain, rescue Ozma by at least two instances of pure dumb luck, and return the stolen magic items. Also, the bad guy is apparently a skilled enough wizard to imprison Ozma despite her being a powerful fairy, Ozma can’t do any magic to get out or at least let her friends know where she is, and nobody has any sort of security for keeping track of their magic items because Oz is supposedly a utopia where no permanent harm can befall anyone or anything despite it having issues with people like this book’s villain and the Nome King fairly frequently. I’m not asking for the world to be made darker and edgier, though that seems to be a pretty common theme in stories based on Oz (and is how we got the glorified fanfiction that is Wicked), but my goodness, the books could at least have some semblance of plot structure, character development, and conflict to overcome in a meaningful way. What they have now makes Saturday morning cartoons look deep and thoughtful.

Rating: C

The Royal Book of Oz

(#15)

This is the first of many Oz books that wasn’t written by L. Frank Baum, him having died after writing book 14. The series passed through various authors, but this one, along with the next few, was written by Ruth Plumly Thompson. So does she meet the standards set by the original writer, you may ask? Well, it seems to hit most of the same broad strokes as a typical Oz book, but Ms. Thompson apparently thought that for her first outing with the series, it would be good to give one of the main characters a completely new backstory that makes little sense (and I would honestly be surprised if it ever comes up again later in the series) and involves an underground country of bad Chinese stereotypes. The plot kicks off when Professor Wogglebug, previously mentioned but never appearing on screen, as he attempts to make a country-wide ancestry chart and, apparently a churlish fellow for one so educated, makes fun of the Scarecrow for seemingly not actually having any ancestry. Scarecrow follows the pole that he was hung on (not as bad as it sounds since he’s a scarecrow) all the way down to the depths of the world, finds out that he’s the lost emperor of a kingdom called the Silver Islands that is as I said, makes a new friend and advisor whose name he insists on mispronouncing, narrowly escapes being assassinated, and says “screw this crap” and goes back to Oz, leaving the advisor to rule the kingdom. Also, his friends try to find him and meet a knight who’s down on his luck, in addition to visiting the obligatory bizarre and dangerous towns that never come up again. Well, I’ll give Ruth credit where it’s due; the Scarecrow’s part of the plot was more coherent than the average Oz book, at least. The rest of it, however, wasn’t really any improvement, and her portrayal of the Silver Islanders and their culture was Plumly awkward. Not really the best start to the rest of the series, if you ask me.

Rating: C-

The Key to Rondo

This is, unsurprisingly, another middle-grade fantasy novel, written by Emily Rodda, pen name of Jennifer Rowe used for her children’s fiction. Emily Rodda, notably, wrote the Deltora Quest series, and she’s so well-known for them—at least from my personal experience—that whenever I see anything else by her, I tend to think “oh yeah, she wrote stuff other than Deltora”. (She also wrote Rowan of Rin and the Fairy Realm series, among others.) In this one, straight-laced Leo and his odd cousin Mimi end up together with a music box that’s been a family heirloom, and Mimi decides to break the rules of using it and wind it four times rather than the specified three, eventually leading to them releasing an evil sorceress from another world and following her into said world, to which the music box is a portal. They have various adventures within the world and can barely tell friend from foe until the climax approaches, when they must confront the Blue Queen and convince her to leave them and Mimi’s pet alone.

Now, this is another book that I’m pretty sure I read when I was younger but had almost forgotten about. I also hadn’t realized that it was the first of a trilogy; I suppose I’ll have to pick up the others later. I do have to wonder how they’ll deal with the villain in the other books, considering that Mimi accidentally revealed Leo’s name to her, allowing her to control him. That seems like a pretty big weakness to leave open. I also guessed a plot twist that I won’t spoil here, though I don’t know if that was purely on my own or due to lingering memories of reading it 10+ years ago. In any case, this one was decent.

Rating: B

The Story of English in 100 Words

Our designated nonfiction book for this set is one that discusses each of 100 English words, picked for being particularly noteworthy or relevant to the language as a whole, such as being the first written word that survived, the first thing named after a person, the most widely used modern coinage, etc. It involves a lot of etymology, history, and sometimes culture related to the word described. And…that’s about it. It was pretty interesting, I thought. Obviously, linguists and other word nerds will get the most out of this one, particularly people interested in historical linguistics, but one could make a reasonable argument for anyone who’s into plain history or anthropology to pick it up as well.

Rating: B

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard #1: The Sword of Summer

We’ve saved the best for last this time. This is the first of another series by Rick Riordan, that one guy known for writing a lot of middle-grade fantasy series based on various world mythologies in a modern setting (and Daughter of the Deep). His best-known one is presumably Percy Jackson and the Olympians, or at least, I’m old enough to remember when that series was his only one and still hadn’t been finished. While that, as well as two of his other series, are based on Greek mythology, Magnus Chase is based on Norse mythology, probably the second-most commonly used in popular media after Greek (in a close contest with Egyptian mythology, which he has also covered), though one character from the Percy Jackson series actually does show up in this and is the cousin of the main character. Compared to Percy Jackson the series, Magnus Chase seems to be “older”, with more overt violence and bloodshed (well, those Vikings were pretty brutal), as well as permanent character deaths. And compared to Percy Jackson the character, Magnus Chase starts out older, more bitter about the state of the world, in a decidedly less stable living situation, and with much less capability for the whole hero business. He is living on the streets when he gets attacked by a fire giant, finds out that two of his fellow homeless people are actually a dwarf and an elf, dies, and goes to Valhalla. Okay, so not all deaths are permanent. There, he meets a Valkyrie who’s a Muslim girl (the absurdity of which is lampshaded), they and the rest of their band of rogues have to run for it, and they get into various misadventures, meet various gods and other mythological figures, and eventually confront the evil wolf Fenris, then get set up for the next book.

Now, Rick Riordan’s characters are probably his strongest point, but I didn’t feel like the cast in this was quite as endearing as Percy and his crew. One can draw clear parallels between many of the characters and their Hellenic counterparts; Magnus is obviously like Percy, the narrator and primary male protagonist who gets abruptly thrust into this world of myths; Samirah is like Annabeth, the primary female protagonist and designated snarky potential future love interest who takes no crap; Blitzen and Hearthstone are kind of like Grover split into two characters with their own goals and interests; and I guess the other characters are like the other characters, who are less important but still at least somewhat so. As with the other series, most of the characters who aren’t mythical creatures are demigods, Magnus being the son of Frey, god of summer and a pretty chill dude, and Samirah being the daughter of Loki, malevolent trickster and decidedly not chill dude. Actually, I’m pretty sure that Loki is even more of a villain in this series than he was in the myths (or the Marvel comic universe, for that matter); from what I know about Norse mythology, he got kind of a raw deal; the worst thing he did was the whole mistletoe incident, which still doesn’t seem evil enough to warrant being tortured with snake venom for all of eternity. As for the plot line, it’s fine. The universe is pretty much out to get our young Viking don’t-wannabe and his friends the whole time, but I guess it works out in the end. We can be glad that we’re reading about all these trials and tribulations and not experiencing them. The overwhelming majority of fictional worlds I would never want to live in, and while this one isn’t the worst, it certainly isn’t better than real life either. Also, on a side note, I take issue with the implication that there’s no such thing as an interesting grammar lecture. Heck, most of the nonfiction books that I’ve reviewed on here are basically that in written form. Anyway, this one was pretty good.

Rating: B+

Quick multi-review #2: Various library books, November-December 2021

Here’s another round of books. There are some similarities between this group and the last one, but there are clearly some differences as well.

Magic by the Lake

It’s another Edward Eager book, and while I didn’t like it quite as much as the last one, it’s still okay. This is actually a sequel to Half Magic, with the same characters but a different source of magic. This time, they’re taking a beach vacation of sorts, when they wish that the whole lake would be magical, get more than they bargained for, and meet a talking turtle who begrudgingly helps them figure the magic out. They go on various adventures, most of them related to bodies of water and the surrounding environments, such as being on a pirate ship and a desert island, getting turned into turtles, almost getting stuck at the South Pole (well, snow and ice are forms of water), and so on. Honestly, for an adventure fantasy, I kind of feel like it it could have been a bit more adventurous. Somebody made a poorly-thought-through wish near the beginning that the whole lake would be magical and ended up having to take it back before things got out of control, but I almost wish they’d kept that and picked up the story from there. That’s not even the only time somebody makes a wish without considering the consequences fully, which is weird considering these are the same kids that have already dealt with magic before, so they should have gained some genre savviness. I guess genre-savvy characters are pretty rare in stories that involve making wishes anyway, maybe because if they were too sensible and logical, there might not be much of a story. It’s also worth noting that in both this book and its predecessor, Jane uses the magic in the lamest way of any of the kids despite being the oldest. Seriously, you have a magic item that grants you wishes, and the best you can come up with is “make my siblings stop annoying me” and “I want to be a few years older”? And she becomes basically a completely different person in both cases, too. Maybe Jane should be checked for DID, or at least DCSS (Deficiency of Contribution to Story Syndrome). Anyway, like I said, this book was fine, but I liked Half Magic and the last book I reviewed by the same author better.

Rating: C+

Scat

Another Carl Hiaasen book, this one involving some endangered panthers. Oddly enough, though, I feel like the animals don’t actually figure into the story that much here; they’re still important to it, especially in the climax, but they almost feel more like a means to an end rather than the end itself, like a thing that indirectly makes a lot of the rest of the story happen. In the rest of the story, there’s the kid protagonist, whose name I don’t remember; his parents, who are mainly there because of his love for them, but his dad comes back from a war missing an arm, and his attempts to empathize with such a condition end up being important later; the villains, who in this case are some shady businessmen trying to drill for oil illegally but interact surprisingly little with the main characters and are still way less evil than the one from Chomp was; a slacker of a kid from the same class, who makes his debut by talking about zits and eating a pencil; and last but not least, the stern teacher of the class, whose conflict with the aforementioned slacker and her subsequent disappearance during a field trip kicks off the main plot. And no, he didn’t do anything to harm her as revenge, but the main character spends a good amount of time trying to untangle what really did happen, and…well, read the book yourself, I guess. That seems to be the main part of this story, actually: interactions between characters, as well as their development, such as the one kid gaining some social skills and the teacher turning out to be not such a bad person once you get to know her. Plus some adventure and perhaps a bit of mystery. It works well enough for me. I enjoyed this book more than Chomp, though a lot of that was because the antagonists weren’t quite so distractingly loathsome. It seemed like it weaved quite a few plot elements together successfully, and it certainly kept you guessing. That’s not always a good thing, mind you, but everything turned out fine in the end. It was a fun read.

Rating: B

Parsifal’s Page

This is a book by Gerald Morris based on the King Arthur mythos, though not with most of the typical knights of the Round Table. The story is about a young boy, the titular page, and his travels with a bumbling knight wannabe named Parsifal whom he tries to train to be a more typical knight. They get into various adventures and misadventures along the way and eventually find some meaningful goals for themselves. Honestly, I’m having trouble remembering much of the overall plot of this one. I don’t read a lot of King Arthur stories, so I wasn’t familiar with many of the references, and the story felt a bit disjointed at times. It was fine, though.

Rating: C

Between You and Me

This is a book about grammar, as well as the author’s experiences with it. (The full title is Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen, and it’s by Mary Norris, not to be confused with the various other books, albums, and whatnot with that title.) In each section, the writer talks about a grammar, punctuation, or spelling rule and provides anecdotes about how it’s come up in her life, often in her experience as an editor. Actually, the book seems to be mostly anecdotes; it passes itself off as a grammar book, and it’s in the 400 section at the library, but it felt to me more like 20% grammar lessons and 80% personal stories. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but if you go in expecting it to be like a textbook or encyclopedia, even a casual one, you may be surprised. She at least makes an effort to have a sense of humor about it all, too, so it’s a decent read.

Rating: B-

The Starless Sea

The last book in today’s batch comes from Erin Morgenstern, which is a rather good name for a fantasy writer. This is actually the first book that I’ve discussed on here that I didn’t finish. In fact, I barely even started it. It wasn’t bad, exactly, but something about the writing style made it strangely hard to maintain focus on it. It was just a lot of setting the scene, a lot of stuff with no context, and a lot of what I can only describe as “trying to write pretty”. I’ll admit that leading off a story—or close to it—with an anecdote about a person getting their tongue burned off doesn’t give me the best first impression of it either, but that wasn’t my main issue with it. It wasn’t a case of starting in medias res (like, for example, the first book of The Seventh Tower does), either. The pacing and structure just felt odd, kind of slow and rambling but jumping around a lot at the same time. It felt like the author wanted to write poetry rather than a novel, which is fine if that’s what they’re interested in, but like I said, I had a hard time even staying focused on the story long enough to get past the first three chapters or so. As a result, I didn’t read enough to be able to rate it fairly.

Rating: Unrated

Quick multi-review #1: Various children’s fantasy and other books, September-October 2021

This time, I’m doing something a bit different. I’m giving my thoughts about multiple works of media that aren’t connected (like the three Bravely Default games were) but don’t really seem necessary to do a full-length review for. (I’d consider calling them “quickies”, but besides having one inappropriate meaning, the term is already in use by another person, albeit one whom my reviews have been somewhat inspired by.) These may be for multiple different forms of media that I consumed around the same time in the future, but this time around, they’re all books. To be exact, we have five of them: three children’s fantasy, one child/teen fiction, and one nonfiction. (For anyone questioning why I consume so much media that is intended for a younger age group, may I direct your attention to this image. It’s talking about TV shows rather than books, but it’s still very relevant.) So, without further ado…

Seven-Day Magic

This is a book by Edward Eager, who also wrote Half Magic, among other things. It follows a group of five children from two families as they get a book from the library and discover that it has magical powers and can grant wishes. They use this to explore a few different other fantasy worlds and points of interest, culminating in having to return the book to the library, as one does, after a conflict that nearly results in disaster. It was all right. I have no real complaints, but it was nothing special either. I can’t even remember most of what happened, which should say something. I guess there is one part where they actually crossover with the world of Half Magic, and that was probably the weakest part of the book, honestly, mainly because the one wish they made that got half-granted ended up turning out really awkward. There was also a bit where one of the kids got to see their grandmother when she was much younger and a schoolteacher. It was harmless enough entertainment, in any case.

Rating: Rating: B-

Philippa Fisher’s Fairy Godsister

Another wish-granting story, this one by Liz Kessler. Those sure do seem to come up a lot in young readers’ fantasy, don’t they? This one involves a downtrodden girl getting a fairy godmother, or as she prefers to say, a fairy godsister since the fairy in question presents as being about the same age. The fairy starts off as rude, condescending, and disparaging of humans, especially Philippa, but eventually learns to value her as a friend and becomes nicer. Her first two wishes are for less dorky parents and more popularity, and I called what the third wish would be well before it actually came up because it’s basically what always happens in stories about getting three wishes. Also, the fairy has to complete her mission within the span of about two weeks, since in this world, when fairies come to the human world, their lifespan is tied to something in nature, such as a butterfly, tree, or whatever, and in this case, she entered in the form of a daisy, which can only survive a couple weeks once picked. Okay, did nobody higher up in the fairy world ever realize how terrible of an idea this is? Daisy (the fairy, named for obvious reasons) has to make Philippa happy and become a more mature and trustworthy person within a short timespan, or she freaking dies. Seriously. No pressure or anything, right? There’s even a mention early in the book of a coworker who took the form of some kind of bug and got squashed before even being able to grant any wishes. You’d think that even one accident like that would prompt them to rethink how they handle wish-granting and trips into the human world. Also, Philippa can only make her wishes when shooting stars happen, which makes the time crunch even worse.

I guess it wasn’t that bad of a book, though. My favorite part was probably the bit at the end with the talent show when Philippa finally accepts herself. And even though the basic premise is a pretty tired old trope, this story is at least a somewhat interesting new take on it. I just feel like it raised too many questions. Pretty much all fantasy requires at least some suspension of disbelief, but some require more than others, and I feel like this one is more toward the higher end.

Rating: C+

Beyond Platform 13

This is a sequel to The Secret of Platform 13, written by Eva Ibbotson and enjoyed by me and others years ago. This book seems to have been done by a different author after Eva herself died. (It’s okay; she lived to be 85.) And it shows, honestly. The book involves a couple of the protagonists from the original book along with a new girl who wasn’t supposed to be there trying to save their magical island from the harpies, who were merely the law enforcement of the island in the first book but became evil in this one. (Any resemblance to real-life events is strictly coincidental.) They meet various fantastic creatures, some new faces and some familiar, and eventually save the day.

Now, the original Secret of Platform 13 was a pretty good book, I thought. I don’t know if it was my favorite Eva Ibbotson novel, but it was definitely a higher-tier one (unlike Which Witch, which [heh] I personally wasn’t big on and find very overrated), and most likely the book that got me interested in her as a writer in the first place. The sequel, on the other hand…well, it didn’t really measure up. It wasn’t bad, but it just seemed like it was missing something. Maybe it’s because we’d already experienced the world and characters before, and this didn’t really add anything new nor use the same material in an interesting way or answer any questions from it. Maybe the basic plot didn’t make enough sense; the harpies not only turned evil seemingly out of nowhere, but most of them basically apologize and become good again at the end, even more abruptly than their initial alignment change, and one of them actually turned out to be good anyway and not involved with the villains. Maybe the replacement author just doesn’t write as well as Ms. Ibbotson. I don’t know. It’s okay enough entertainment if you’re just picking it up at the library, but if you weren’t big on the original book, this certainly won’t change your mind, and if you loved the original book, you might find this one a bit underwhelming.

Rating: C

Chomp

This is a novel by Carl Hiaasen, famous for writing Hoot and Skinny Dip, among other things, and unlike the first three books on our list, it’s not fantasy. It takes place in Florida, as many of his books do, and it’s about a kid and his dad who work at a sort of wildlife shelter and a reality TV star who has a show about surviving in the wild that is actually completely fake. The book follows their adventures as Derek Badger (Mr. TV Dude, going by a stage name) butts heads with Wahoo (the primary child protagonist, and victim of a way sillier name than Derek), his friend Tuna (who has it even worse in that regard), and his father Mickey (apparently the only main character in here with a normal name). The early parts of the book are full of slapstick as the father-son duo more or less rent out their animals to Derek for use in the show and, along with Derek’s beleaguered assistant, try desperately to keep him from seriously hurting himself by virtue of being hilariously clueless about how to interact with the natural world. Movie star life, putting oneself in dangerous situations, and a negative Wisdom modifier do not go well together. Then the weather turns bad and they start having some real difficulties, and everyone has to do their best to cope with adversity. So the story is a pretty entertaining romp.

And then the true villain shows up: Tuna’s abusive father, who managed to track her down and is willing to threaten and assault people to get her back, and he darn near ruins the second half of the book. I get that a story usually needs to have conflict to be interesting, but it already had that. Was babysitting a prima donna in the Florida wilderness not enough conflict, or what? The back of the book advertised Derek Badger dealing with the dangers of nature in Florida, with a lot of help from the other characters, so why is over a third of the book spent trying not to get shot by a psycho who isn’t even mentioned in the synopsis? And unlike Derek, The Demon Dad has scenes that are 100% serious; there were many opportunities for him to experience some animal-related injuries of his own (and he would have deserved them way more than Derek; that guy was an idiot and kind of a jerk, but he wasn’t evil), but nothing like that ever happens. There is a sort of final showdown involving Derek coming out of the woods half-crazed and assisting in the capture of Demon Dad (I can’t be bothered to remember the guy’s actual name), but that’s about it. This is one of those books where most of the back cover is taken up by comments from critics rather than anything actually relevant to the book (as if I give a crap what the critics think), and at least one of them didn’t seem to have actually read the book, or at least not remembered it correctly, since they mentioned an iguana falling from a tree and killing someone. There is a part where an iguana falls out of a tree onto a person’s head, but it explicitly doesn’t kill them. It’s actually one of the first things that happens in the book; Mickey gets beaned with a lizard from above. During the second half of the book, I kept waiting for another iguana to land on the gunman and be fatal this time, as a call-back to the first scene of the book, but it never happened, disappointingly enough. The bad guy did get put in jail at the end, but honestly, it would have been so much more satisfying for him to get munched by a crocodile or something.

Rating: C

Verbivore’s Feast

For our final entry in this round, we have a nonfiction book. This one is by Chrysti M. Smith, and it’s about etymology, the study of the history of words and the origins of individual words. (Not to be confused with entomology, the study of insects. People who don’t know the difference have a history of bugging me.) There’s no plot, story, or even continuous narration to speak of here; it’s simply an alphabetical list of a selection of words and where they came from or are said to have come from. It was a fun read, and it was interesting to learn about the historical origins of a bunch of different words. I do have one complaint, though: Why weren’t there any words that started with Z? It seems like a glaring omission. It wouldn’t have stood out so much if one or more other letters hadn’t had any words listed either, but every other letter, including the other rare ones, had at least one entry. It felt like I’d skipped a page or two. Maybe it’s just an OCD thing, but surely Chrysti could have included, I don’t know, “zounds”, “zwieback”, “zenith”, “zany”, or something. (Also, I have to say, that’s the only time I’ve ever seen “Chrysti” spelled that way. Another unusual name?) In any case, probably a lot of people would not find this book interesting, but I thought it was pretty fascinating, and there’s a sequel as well with more words.

Rating: B

The List of Limbo #2: Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time – It’s enough to drive you N. Sane

Yes, it’s another one of these. And contrasting with my last entry (but coincidentally enough, within the same genre), this time, we’re discussing a modern game: Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time, the newest Crash Bandicoot game, released in 2020 for the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One and in 2021 for the Switch, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X. There was also a PC version, but apparently it was tied to some Blizzard online thing or something, so I’m not really sure where you get that, and anyway, if a PC game isn’t available on Steam or as a DRM-free copy, it’s dead to me. Crash Bandicoot was one of those series that I played and enjoyed growing up, and it went for quite a long time without a new entry that wasn’t a spin-off or genre change; the last main-series platformer was Crash Twinsanity, released in 2004, and the last one that played like the PS1 originals was Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex in 2001. Incidentally, it’s pretty silly that they called this game “Crash Bandicoot 4”, because Crash 4 already existed and was called The Wrath of Cortex. The Japanese version even had the number explicitly in the title (and I still don’t know why the English-speaking world is so averse to numbered sequels sometimes). Now that this game exists, you have to refer to it by the full title when out of context because just “Crash Bandicoot 4” is ambiguous. That aside, though, you may be thinking, as the first Crash Bandicoot game in 17 or possibly even 20 years that returns to the series’ roots, how does this hold up? Is it a good game? Well…I’m afraid that the framing pretty much spoils the answer to that. If I liked the game, I’d be doing a regular review of it. So you may commence with the wailing, gnashing of teeth, mourning, and wearing all black clothing (unless you’re a goth who already dresses in black, in which case you might consider expressing your sorrows by wearing bright pink sparkly clothing instead).

This game follows the ending of Crash 3. Cortex escapes his predicament with the help of N. Tropy, and they proceed to wreak merry havoc causing holes to open in the space-time continuum, so Crash and his friends must stop them. In addition to Crash, Coco, and Aku Aku, this game also introduces four new masks, each with their own powers and personalities (I know what you’re thinking, and no, none of them protect the bandicoots from viruses, nor do they have to stay 6 feet apart) and each available for certain parts of some levels. Also, while Crash and Coco are the regular playable characters (Coco playing exactly the same as Crash), there are a few levels where you get to play as other characters for a bit. So far, I’ve seen an alternate-universe version of Tawna who is much stronger and more adventurous than her Crash 1 counterpart, and Dingodile, who seems to have just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time (no pun intended), and I’ve heard that it’s also possible to play as Cortex later on.

The game looks and sounds good enough. Being on modern consoles, it certainly has a much higher polygon count than the PS1 or even PS2 Crash games. I’ll admit that I don’t remember much of the music; the only track that stuck with me was the theme for the first boss, where you fight N. Gin as he’s playing the drums in a rock band (yes, really). But it’s possible that I’d be able to appreciate the soundtrack more if I listened to it by itself. Where this game really screws the pooch is in the gameplay, mainly because of how hard it is. Basically, this is Crash Bandicoot on Lunatic Mode. What would be endgame difficulty in Crash 2, 3, the other 4, or even 1 is reached and passed a third of the way through this game, and it only gets tougher from there. Where it gets really bad is when you’re trying to go for all of the gems and other items. Bonus rooms in this game are ridiculously hard compared to anything in the other games (the closest thing would be Crash 1’s Brio and Cortex bonus rounds, but even those weren’t this nasty), and quite often, boxes are hidden in very obscure and often unfair locations. I played the first half of the game, about 20 levels, and got the box gems on maybe three of them. And it wasn’t due to there being a lot of colored gem routes, either; there are only four colored gems in this game, as opposed to the five of Crash 2-4A or the six of Crash 1, and they don’t seem to be used a whole lot. It also takes a lot more time to replay levels if you missed anything (or, heaven forbid, failed a time trial) because they are much, much longer than anything in the old games. I don’t mind long levels in a vacuum, but long and ridiculously hard is a bad combination (see also: Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams), even more so when you’re trying to look for items. The final straw for me as far as getting the boxes goes was Run It Bayou, the last level in the fifth area and the last level that I beat before shelving the game. After trying nine times just to get the boxes before the first checkpoint and not even coming close, I decided that I just wasn’t having fun and pretty much rushed through the rest of the level to see if that would make it any better. I also somehow managed to glitch through the bottom of the same section when trying to jump on the jet-ski, had the camera freak out, got stuck, and had to restart the level, so that was nice.

Then there are the alternate characters. Their differing movesets are actually pretty neat, and they would have been a great idea in a better game. Tawna has a grappling hook and a wall-jump, and Dingodile has basically a big vacuum that he can use to suck things up and launch them back out. But you don’t actually get to play as them for an entire level, just the first half or so of one, and then you finish it by switching back to Crash/Coco in a level that you’ve already beaten with them, except that now it has more obstacles. If you give me alternate playable characters with their own levels, let me actually play as them for the whole level, not just part of it. Also, I don’t know if it’s a problem with the game as a whole or if the Switch version has issues, but I swear the controls don’t always respond how they should (and no, I wasn’t even using the Joy-Cons); quite often, I’d try to move and Crash wouldn’t go quite the right direction even when I was using the D-pad. The Tawna levels were particularly frustrating in this way; her grappling hook is a bit finicky, and I swear her wall-jump just plain doesn’t work about 40% of the time. Considering that you have to use both of those moves above bottomless pits and other hazards, that is a problem. The rail-grinding sections were also pretty annoying, especially when going for boxes, because of how little reaction time they gave you. It all ties back to the high difficulty level, and in general, I feel like there was a lot in this game that just didn’t feel like it left enough room for error. You know, some of the levels in the older games could be difficult, and some of them could be quite a challenge to complete, but this game is on a whole different level. The High Road in Crash 1 was hard, but it wasn’t as hard as this game. Bee-Having in Crash 2 was annoying, but it wasn’t as annoying as making single-block-wide jumps at a 30-degree angle to get boxes. The motorcycle and flight levels in Crash 3 were tiresome gimmicks, but at least they didn’t require split-second reflexes to avoid missing boxes or dying. And Gold Rush in OG Crash 4 was long, but it wasn’t four times as long as a typical Crash trilogy level while also being difficult.

Summary:

Problems: The difficulty, the difficulty, the freaking difficulty. This game is tough enough when you’re just trying to get to the end, but if you’re actually going for completion? “Ridiculous” isn’t a strong enough word for it. No matter how hard you thought some parts of the other Crash Bandicoot games were, I guarantee you that nothing in those comes close to the kind of hell this game will put you through for 100%, let alone 106%. My lesser complaints mostly all tie into this.

Things that were okay: The presentation of the game was good. I thought the graphics and environments looked very nice, the characterization and story were fair enough for a Crash game (aside from the N. Tropies’ end goals and what happened to the alternate-universe Crash and Coco, which if you ask me is too dark for this series), and the idea of visiting all the different places and time periods was neat (even if Crash 3 kind of already did that), as were the ideas for the levels. The Quantum Masks were pretty cool as well.

Odds of returning to it: High

If I had a nickel for every video game I got in 2021 that was on the Switch, was a new entry in a series that I’d previously enjoyed, and should have been great but, due to poor design choices, ultimately ended up being more irritating than fun, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right? I’m giving this one a high rating because I do think that I might come back to it someday, but oof, this is the first Crash Bandicoot platformer that I’ve seriously considered not finishing. It’s not just a lack of skill…when I got 100% completion on the first four games (okay, the N. Sane Trilogy version of the first one), didn’t think that Stormy Ascent was that bad, have beaten every classic Mega Man game, and have gotten full completion on every Donkey Kong Country game including the super-tough secret levels, and yet I can only make it halfway through this game before feeling like it’s too frustrating to bother with, Toys for Bob done goofed. And you know what the absolute most painful thing about it is? There isn’t even a good alternative. There are vanishingly few games that play similarly to Crash Bandicoot; 3D platformers are already rather rare compared to many genres, and most of the ones that are out there are open-area and are collectathon junk that shouldn’t even qualify as a platformer, or at the very least consist of repeating the same levels like…well, like my previous List of Limbo entry. There’s Super Mario 3D Land and World, which I’ve long since finished, and there’s Donald Duck: Goin’ Quackers, and there is little if anything else worth playing. I really hope that they make more Crash Bandicoot games that are better (or at least easier and more fair) than Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time, but considering that game developers have a marked tendency to get all the wrong messages when a game doesn’t do well or is disliked, I have an uneasy suspicion that it could be another 17 years before we get anything else that’s decent in the series. It’s just a huge disappointment all around.

Video game review #3 – Bravely Default, Bravely Second, and Bravely Default 2 – Something old, something new, something brave, something true

I’m doing something a bit different for this one, reviewing three works of media at once. I recently finished Bravely Default 2, and it made me realize that it would be a good time to review it, but I also never reviewed the first two games (yes, the game with “2” in the title is actually the third game…we’ll get into why shortly). Admittedly, I really should have reviewed the first two games sooner; it’s been a while since I’ve played Bravely Second and quite some time since I’ve played the original Bravely Default, so my memory of them could definitely be better. I still remember most of the important stuff, though. The original Bravely Default was released in Japan in 2012, with an updated version in 2013 that then got released in English in 2014. (I distinctly remember buying it and Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze at the same time, even though the latter seems newer than that.) It is a direct reference to Final Fantasy games, particularly Final Fantasy: The 4 Heroes of Light. Well, I haven’t played 4 Heroes of Light, and I found the retro Final Fantasy games overrated as all heck, mainly by virtue of playing Final Fantasy 6 on an emulator and wondering a) why random encounters had to stick around for as long as they did and b) whose dumb idea the ATB system was anyway, but I actually did like Bravely Default. To me, it’s more like what classic Final Fantasy should have been, with an actually decent battle system and some much-needed quality-of-life features. (Though the very first Japanese release didn’t have them, which makes me think that maybe asynchronous releases aren’t necessarily a bad thing.)

All three Bravely Default games have a number of commonalities. They all have four playable characters, who will be your party for all but the very beginning of the game. They all incorporate four elemental crystals: earth, water, fire, and wind. (Why it’s not just “air”, I don’t know…apparently, air is only an element if it’s moving? The Trails series did the same thing….) They all have a job system, where at various points in the story and sidequests, you fight human bosses who have a particular “job”, such as a white mage, black mage, knight, thief, monk, etc., that gives them a particular set of abilities by means of a magical stone called an asterisk, and when you beat them, you claim that asterisk for yourself and can use that job. (From what I know, it’s similar to the job system in Final Fantasy 5.) And most importantly, they all have the Brave/Default battle system that is this series’ trademark and basis for its name. The way that it works is, each of your party members has a stock of Brave Points, or BP, and gains one each time their turn comes around, but you can also get an extra one by using the “Default” command, which also acts like a defend command and reduces incoming damage to that character until their next turn. You can normally store a maximum of 3 BP. Normal attacks and most abilities cost one BP to perform, but there are some more powerful skills that consume multiple BP at a time. You can also use the “Brave” command to take up to 4 actions in a turn, which will reduce your BP by an equivalent amount, and it is possible to go negative; a character can go down to -4 BP, or -3 in Bravely Default 2, though some slight display tweaks in the latter make it act the same way anyway (e.g., at 0 BP, you can still take 4 actions). Anyone who does go negative won’t be able to act until they get back up to 0 BP or more. Enemies use the system as well, and there are also a few skills that can grant extra BP or take it away. It’s actually a pretty decent battle system, and it sure beats the heck out of that awful ATB system that was so common. It makes defending actually worth doing (unlike most RPGs that have a defend command…I don’t think I used it once during Super Mario RPG, for instance), and it makes it possible to bide your time if you don’t need to take an action just yet but also to blitz an enemy or group of enemies down if you can defeat them all in one round, or do multiple things in a row without having to wait a turn (such as reviving someone and then healing them).

So now we get to the differences. Bravely Default and Bravely Second take place in one world, while Bravely Default 2 takes place in a different world, and the latter doesn’t share any characters or locations with the former. (Basically, using Final Fantasy sequel terminology, Bravely Second is “Bravely Default 1-2”.) The selection and number of jobs is also different from game to game; there are some that are only in one or two of the three games and some that are different from one game to another. And, of course, the stories are different, as are most of the villains, enemies, and dungeons. I will elaborate on further differences and details in each game’s own section.

Bravely Default

Summary:

A small-town boy, a priestess, a womanizer with amnesia, and a feisty warrior’s daughter find each other, become friends, have the courage to go against expectations set for them, and save the world, in true classic JRPG style, and with a more engaging battle system than a typical classic JRPG at that.

Gameplay: Good

The Brave/Default system didn’t come out of complete thin air; there was apparently something similar in 4 Heroes of Light, but it’s more refined here. I tend to like turn-based RPGs better than action RPGs (though I’ll admit that playing Ys made me seriously consider looking into the latter more), and while I’m okay with a standard no-frills turn-based battle system, any game that enhances and builds on it, such as this game, Radiant Historia, Super Mario RPG, and the Trails series, tends to endear me to it more. Give me more of those, please.

Story: Okay

The overarching plot is nothing that hasn’t been done a hundred times before. A group of spunky teens and/or young adults works together to save the world with the help of magical artifacts. (Heck, I’ve even written stories with that same basic plot.) But the characters, especially their interactions, are rather more in-depth and interesting than that. Even some of the bad guys at least have motivations beyond being evil (granted, some of their motivations suck and they still deserve to die, but not all of them are that way). Late in the game, the story starts to get a bit more subversive, and I’ll tag the pretty huge spoilers. Your fairy companion Airy turns out to be evil, making the crystals shine is actually hastening the end of the world, and Airy is working with basically an eldritch abomination that is supposedly trying to invade the player’s world. Personally, I thought the fourth-wall-breaking twist was really hokey; something similar might have worked in a sillier setting, but Bravely Default’s world generally takes itself pretty seriously, so it’s kind of jarring. You can tell me until you’re blue in the face that the fourth wall will not protect me, but I still know perfectly well that characters in a video game can’t possibly harm me in real life, so it just comes off as goofy if you ask me. Unless technology one day allows me to transfer my consciousness onto a 3DS cartridge or they remake the game as an immersive virtual reality experience, I as a player am not and can never be part of the in-game universe.

Graphics: Fine

I recall this 3DS game looking like a 3DS game. That’s about the extent of what I can remember as far as the graphics go. I don’t recall paying any particular attention to the graphics, though I guess since it’s a 3D game, they’re understandably on the low-poly side compared to a typical Wii U, PS3, or Vita game.

Music: Decent

All of the battle themes are pretty good, but I didn’t really remember anything past that, certainly not half a decade or more after my last playthrough of the game. Most RPGs have good battle music, but significantly fewer of them, in my experience, have good or memorable dungeon music. Even fewer of them have memorable music for towns. Sadly, Bravely Default mostly seems to fall into that first tier, especially since there aren’t actually that many different dungeon themes. Of the towns, I’d say the one in chapter 1 definitely has the best music.

Positives: The battle system, the job system (including its nuances such as passive abilities), and the ability to change the encounter rate. These are all true about the other games as well (okay, not the last one for Bravely Default 2, but we’ll get to that), but this was the one that started it all.

Negatives: I’m not saying anything that hasn’t already been said here, but the part of the game after chapter 4 is a drag. You’re basically doing the same thing four times, and yes, I realize that you don’t have to refight all the asterisk bosses, but you still have to refight all the temple guardians at the very least. Chapter 5 could have been cut out entirely, and 6 and 7 could probably have been combined, without making a difference in the story setup. Also, there are a lot of job skills that just feel like filler, especially when it takes so much JP to get them (particularly at and beyond job level 10). They could have reduced the maximum job level by at least 1, probably 2, maybe even 3; kept all the JP amounts the same; and not lost anything important. For that matter, it sure feels like it takes a while before you start getting any useful jobs; the first decent one doesn’t come until the end of chapter 1, and most of the good ones don’t show up until chapter 3. Finally, why aren’t HP totals for enemies that you’ve scanned before always visible?

Final rating: B-

Bravely Default is something of a diamond in the rough, though it’s less rough than the original Japanese release. Like I said, I got it at the same time as Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, and while I still think that that game is easily the superior of the two, 2014 me was surprised how much fun they were having with this game. It definitely has some parts that just feel like padding, and it feels like it takes forever before you get any decent job skills, but it’s still a pretty solid game overall. As I said, it is very much inspired by classic Final Fantasy, but it’s better than them if you ask me. It’s a worthy addition to the library of anyone who has a 3DS and likes RPGs.

Edit: I’ve actually been replaying this game recently (even when I really should be working on my Let’s Play of Trails in the Sky or at least playing Trails of Cold Steel 4), and it brought to my attention several issues that I’d forgotten about that I would have deemed important enough to mention. Firstly, I forgot how dumb the plot was. Not a single one of the enemy asterisk holders, even ones who really should be levelheaded enough not to shoot first and ask questions later, like Einheria, Kamiizumi, and Braev Lee himself (yes, his name is a bad pun; you may groan when ready at the lack of subtlety there), bothers explaining their motivations to the protagonists, trying to talk things out instead of fighting to the death, or at least explaining why they’re so adamantly against powering up the crystals. And in Braev’s case, for supposedly being a noble leader and wanting what’s best for the world, he’s sure willing to look the other way when it comes to human garbage fires like Qada and Khamer hurting innocent people. Even the protagonists seem to take a level in cluelessness toward the end of the game; the least spoiler-y explanation I can give is to look up the quote misattributed to Albert Einstein about the definition of insanity. Secondly, I forgot how crappy the passive abilities were in this game. I already mentioned the slow start to getting any decent jobs, but even when you do get good ones, the passives often suck (and quite a few of them take up too many slots for what they do). I could probably count on two hands the number of passive abilities among all 24 jobs that are actually useful; several are situational at best, and the rest are a straight-up waste of a job level. Thirdly, while the padding is most blatant in chapter 5 and beyond, there were still definitely some pointlessly padded parts of the game earlier on, probably the biggest one being the Performer sidequest (which, aside from the actual boss fight, requires no skill and has no challenge at all, consisting simply of revisiting all towns previously visited before returning to where the boss is, thereby doing actual nothing but wasting your time). Finally, I don’t like how the penultimate job is set up. It’s a Blue Mage-style job that involves learning abilities from enemies, and it first becomes available in chapter 4. The problem is, actually beating the boss in question in chapter 4 requires either being significantly overleveled or using specific cheese strategies, so it would be better to wait until later when you’re stronger…but if you wait, then all the enemy encounters change and you can’t fight the enemies from chapters 1-4 anymore, including quite a few enemies that have abilities that you can learn, and the only other place where you can fight them is in an endgame bonus dungeon. In other words, you either have to fight the boss and everything leading up to it while underleveled or miss out on a lot of its abilities. All of this does not change my rating of the game nor my ranking of it relative to the other two, but boy, it doesn’t do it any favors either.

Bravely Second

Summary:

As mentioned, this is a direct sequel to the original Bravely Default. Only two of the four previous characters return to your party; the other two are in the game but not playable, and they’re replaced by two new characters; Tiz and Edea are still around, but Agnes and Ringabel have been swapped out for Yew and Magnolia, and honestly, I welcome the change. Ringabel with his one-track mind was frankly rather annoying, and I guess Agnes was okay but kind of a stick-in-the-mud. Granted, Tiz is also pretty flat as far as characterization goes, though Yew is a bit better in that regard and perhaps more charismatic. Most of the jobs from the first game return in the second, but a few of them don’t, and there are a number of completely new jobs, some of which are very fun to play around with (I actually have never needed to use a returning job any of the times I’ve played this game, except for the occasional passive ability).

Gameplay: Good

Everything I liked about the first Bravely Default is still true here, and most of the new jobs are pretty cool. The only one I really didn’t like was the one you get in chapter 5, and honestly, by the time you get that, you have plenty of other options anyway. (Though I will say that the last job comes too late in the game to make good use of. You have it for, what, one dungeon and a few optional bosses? The same is true for the secret job skills that it unlocks, and on that note, some of those are pretty bad; the Wizard’s one comes to mind.) This game even added some new dungeon mechanics, such as switches to change the terrain.

Story: Fine

The story is overall a bit more lighthearted than the previous game, minus a few select boss encounters (one of them should be easy to tell just from his character design, but let’s just say that you wouldn’t think that pastries could be so scary). I think this game handles redemption and conflict over friends turned enemies better than the first one did, too.

Graphics: See above

These are pretty much identical to the first Bravely Default. They almost certainly used the same engine, so it stands to reason.

Music: Decent

You know, most people say that this game’s soundtrack is worse than the first, but honestly, I thought they were about the same. The battle themes are markedly different in style (and frankly, kind of overdramatic; the normal battle theme in this game sounds more grandiose and dangerous than a lot of climactic boss themes in other games), the town themes are nothing new, and the dungeon themes are still forgettable.

Positives: You can save up to three party configurations, you can now see all abilities of any job that is available before you unlock them, and enemies’ HP is now always visible if you’ve scanned them once. Also, the new jobs are generally pretty fun; in particular, I really liked the Wizard’s Spellcraft ability, and I’m disappointed that it didn’t come back for the next game. Sure, it was kind of overpowered with the right setup, but it was at least overpowered and fun, which is better than something being perfectly balanced but boring. I think that job was almost singlehandedly responsible for why I like to play sorcerers so much in D&D, because of their metamagic, and I wish that more games had metamagic-like things. On a related note, you actually get decent jobs early on. This deserves italics because it was definitely not true of the first game (aside from the White Mage because healing is always useful). Jobs have also been rebalanced, and they’re easier to max out, have much less filler, and require significantly fewer passive slots compared to the first game. Finally, you can now customize the trigger condition for special moves, which makes them a lot easier to use (and makes Rejuvenation even more broken than it was in the first game, especially when combined with the Catmancer).

Negatives: I really don’t have that much to complain about here, but I will say this: The Old Sagitta Ruins can eat a bucket of poop. It says something when that particular dungeon stands out to me just for how annoying it was. Not only was the gimmick kind of a pain, but pretty much every enemy in there was also a nuisance, capable of doing ridiculous damage, charming the entire party, and other nasty things. Relatedly, enemies should not be able to insta-kill characters, kick them out of battle, or inflict crippling status effects on a regular basis, which a number of them can do (admittedly, that was true for the first game as well). I actually got softlocked once by an enemy that managed to inflict Love status on the entire party, meaning that nobody could act because they were all waiting for another character to act first. They really didn’t think that one through. Also, it’s a darn shame that they didn’t bring back the Salve-Maker for this game; I realize that the Patissier sort of does the same thing, but it misses most of the functionality, and honestly, the Patissier isn’t that powerful of a job, so I think it could have gotten a few beneficial effects as well (especially given its flavor…does it really make sense that a job capable of making magical confectionery can only use it to debuff things?).

Final rating: B+

Bravely Second takes everything that I enjoyed about the first game, fixes pretty much every problem that I had with it, and adds several useful new features and some fun new jobs besides. If you’re only planning on playing one Bravely game, I highly recommend playing this one, because it is by far the best of the three.

Bravely Default 2

Summary:

As I mentioned, Bravely Default 2 is set in a different world from the first two games and has all new characters, and it’s on the Switch rather than the 3DS. It has some new jobs and some new takes on old ones, too, and they changed how encounters and battles work. This game has pre-existing encounters instead of random ones, which I can’t complain about (even though Bravely Default and Second were among the very few games with random encounters that I didn’t mind because you could change the encounter rate), and characters and enemies take their turns individually instead of all at once, plus their turns come at different intervals depending on their speed stats and other things. I think I actually like the new versions of those things better, but the old ways were also fine.

Gameplay: Decent…ish…

The basic foundation of the gameplay is the same as the the first two games’, which is still good. But it’s fitting that the asterisks are such important artifacts, because there is a big bold asterisk after that “good”. The biggest problems with Bravely Default 2 come from some mechanics that the developers decided to add for the first time. None of them add anything fun to the game, but there is one elephant in the room in particular, one elephant that is smashing your furniture and taking a dump on your carpet, one mechanic that, shall we say, runs counter to the very idea of fun. Remember Kamiizumi? Remember how his boss fights were mainly based on him counterattacking you? Well, I didn’t much care for fighting him in either game that he was in, but somebody on the dev team must have been absolutely enamorate of his battle mechanics, because now every single boss in the game except the very first one has at least one counter. And unlike with Kamiizumi, they can do things other than inflicting physical damage, don’t cost any BP to use, and can counter anything and everything that isn’t a special. Bosses, and even some normal enemies, can counter physical attacks, being hit with magic, and being damaged, for starters. They can also counter attempts to inflict status ailments, as well as healing, buffs, and items that you use. They can even counter you for using Default, for crying out loud. You know, half of the main mechanic of the series? There’s even Counter Any Ability. Yes, that is actually what it’s called, and it triggers whenever you use any job skill…you know, the other flagship mechanic of the series. There is no “Counter When Player Presses Button”, but goodness, there might as well be. As it is, they range from being merely annoying to completely unfair. At least in the first two games, bosses that could counter you were using their own job skills; here, half your adversaries seem to have taken a few levels in a secret 25th job that the player can never access and gotten a passive called “Win Free BP by Doing Absolutely Nothing”. The fact that they force one passive ability slot to be constantly filled by the one thing that can cancel out some of the counters doesn’t help matters. While I do think that it would be possible to make the counters more fair if they ever remade the game, I’d have no problem at all with them doing a Marie Kondo and just chucking the mechanic out entirely, because it definitely does not spark joy. I’d say the same for the other new mechanic they added, equipment weight. Now you can’t just wear whatever you want, because all equipment has a weight rating, your characters can only carry a certain amount of weight, and if you end up overloaded on weight, you take hefty stat penalties, particularly speed. Needless to say, this makes equipping your party much more annoying than in the first two games (I frequently found myself wearing armor from over a full chapter ago), it makes an awful lot of equipment pretty much useless because it’s too heavy for what it does, and it limits options for squishy jobs more than ever (not to mention making them squishier than ever). Supposedly, arbitrary counters were added to discourage overpowered one-note strategies and weight was added to discourage just giving everyone the best equipment available, but if my playthrough was anything to go by, the former actually forced the player into cheese and minmaxing even more to avoid getting countered into oblivion, while the latter mainly seemed to force the player into “just give everyone Wind Talismans because they increase your capacity”. (And anyway, what kind of RPG considers it a bad thing to let the player use the best equipment that they can? Literally no other RPG I’ve played had an issue with that, but suddenly it is one here.) At least they’re consistent with their theme of trying to fix a problem that wasn’t really even a problem in the first place and ending up creating a much bigger problem.

Then there are the more minor, but still frustrating, things. For one, special moves in this game practically feel like an afterthought; there is now only one per job, as opposed to three per weapon type in Default and four per weapon type in Second, and they can no longer be customized at all; the trigger conditions are hardcoded and usually require using that job’s abilities, and you can’t add any additional parts to them. You no longer get maps for dungeons, which is especially bad in this game because a lot of the dungeons are huge confusing mazes. Some people don’t believe in giving the player maps for dungeons in RPGs and adventure games, sometimes for story reasons, and I believe that those people should toss their game designing licenses off a bridge. Even if your protagonist is exploring uncharted territory, it’s a video game, not everything is perfectly realistic, and why would you want to make things less convenient for players? Sheesh, even Etrian freaking Odyssey had a way to map out dungeons, and when Etrian Odyssey is outstripping your standards for modern conveniences, something has gone horribly wrong. While it is harder to make a map accessible in a Switch game due to it not having a second screen like the 3DS does, that’s no excuse. Also, why can’t you view completed sidequests? You could in the first two games. And why is the Beastmaster’s monster list such a mess? It goes only by the order that you captured monsters in, not by anything like power or location, and even then, it can get thrown off if you use up a monster near the bottom of the list and then capture a new one (in which case the new one might end up where the old one was). The list doesn’t even say what each monster does, unlike similar abilities in previous games. It also seems like they nerfed some things; a buff that would typically last 4 turns in the other games might only last 2 here, and the steal rate for Thief abilities is abysmal.

Story: Meh

There wasn’t really all that much to the story in this game, honestly, especially if you don’t count the sidequests. The main villain was clearly evil, but at least that’s better than trying to make us sympathize with a character who doesn’t deserve it. A lot of people seem to like chapter 3’s story for how realistically dark and serious it is, but I hated it and couldn’t wait to be done with the chapter for the same reason, so your mileage may vary. Edna spent a lot of time being built up and then didn’t actually do all that much. One thing I did like, though (slight spoiler), is that there is an entire village of fairies that you get to visit. It’s a cool place, it was really cool that we finally got to see some good fairies, and it’s a darn shame that you spend so little time there. If there’s one thing from this game that I’d like to see explored more in a sequel, it’s the fairies and their interaction with the rest of the world. Also, Martha is unquestionably the best NPC, and Anihal isn’t far behind.

Graphics: Fine, but a bit underwhelming

I had no particular issues with the graphics in this game (other than the giant zombie monsters being absolutely disgusting to look at almost to the point of making me physically ill), but I’ll admit that they sure didn’t seem to push the Switch’s hardware much. They were higher quality than the 3DS games’, but not by a lot. I’m really not one to complain about the quality of my graphics in video games, especially considering that about the only games that I play that are actually known for their graphics are the Donkey Kong Countries, but everything in this game looked like it could easily have been done on the Wii U. Yet at the same time, the game now has loading times between different rooms, which is kind of baffling in conjunction with it not seeming to push the hardware much.

Music: Fine

This game and the first game share a composer, while Bravely Second has a different one, and people were excited for the old composer returning for this game. Me, though? The battle themes were decent enough (notably, there are now multiple different asterisk boss themes depending on whom you’re fighting), but the only dungeon theme that I even noticed, much less liked, was the one from the airship. Pretty much the same story as with the first two games.

Positives: The Salve-Maker is back! Admittedly, it’s significantly nerfed from its first appearance and ingredients are much more of a pain in the butt to obtain (unless you use it with a maxed-out Phantom, which makes things too easy), but it’s still cool, and its asterisk bearer is actually a reasonable person this time as opposed to the complete psycho that the original one was. I also thought they made some nice tweaks to some of the old jobs. In particular, the Swordmaster seemed far more worth using in this game, and the new version of the Spiritmaster was pretty interesting and not half bad. I already mentioned the fairy village. I think this game has my overall favorite cast of the three games, too, at least when it comes to the player characters. Seth was still fairly flat but perhaps slightly less so than Tiz, and Gloria, Elvis, and Adelle were all fairly endearing (even though Elvis was a bit too interested in alcohol for his own good). It’s also easier than ever to level up and max out jobs, which finally makes switching to different jobs depending on the situation actually doable instead of feeling like you’re just gimping yourself. The second game and especially the first gave you pathetic amounts of JP for most of the game, so it’s nice that they changed that.

Negatives: Hoo boy. Counter spam, equipment weight, confusing dungeons with no maps, no saved party configurations, no sidequest log, lame special moves, we didn’t start the fire… Seriously, though, it is astonishing how many things they screwed up. It would be excusable if this were the first game in the series, but it’s the third one, and considering that most of this wasn’t a problem at all for its immediate predecessor, the developers really had no excuse. If they’d merely added new mechanics that sucked, that would be bad but almost understandable, but they also took away features that were in the previous game for no freaking reason. Also, the balance is terrible; while there still aren’t as many blatantly useless abilities as there were in the first game, there are still plenty of them that are underpowered or just not worth using over others, some that really should be better for how late you get them (why does BP Limit Up still only affect the person who has it equipped? and whose bright idea was it to hold off most of the weapon lore abilities until endgame, when there is actual zero reason to ever use them?), some that were in earlier games and inexplicably nerfed into oblivion here (More Money now only increases it by 10%…yeah, I’ll definitely take that over other options, all right), some that are extremely situational (Crushed Ice, great for the one ability in the entire game that has a chance of inflicting freeze), and some that just weren’t thought through very well (Purebringer, better for canceling your own buffs than actually helping you). For that matter, some entire jobs fall into this; the Gambler is more of a liability than a help, and the Black Mage, already one of the worst jobs in the first two games, has been made even worse in this one by making it slow as well. Conversely, some abilities, especially in combination with certain others, are blatantly overpowered; the second specialties of both the Beastmaster and Phantom come to mind, as well as Godspeed Strike. These games have always given you ways to break them in half, but at least they used to require some setup; in this game, you can do it without half trying. I can’t be that mad because of how cheap the bosses are and how cathartic it is to out-cheese them, but still… Once again, the final job comes way too late in the game; while it is pretty neat and fun to use, it barely matters when you only get to use it for about 2 hours (which is true even more of the secret job skills). Finally, though it’s a minor thing, the boat exploration is but a pale shadow of the town rebuilding mechanic from the first two games. They even had a destroyed city as a plot point; why couldn’t we have rebuilt Musa the same way as the moon base and Norende? Is it because of how much they gutted special moves?

Final rating: C+

Bravely Default 2 is a great game if you like micromanagement. It really cannot be stated enough how irritating some of the things they added are, especially the counters (and especially Counter Any Ability, which is cheating in all but name and extraordinarily unfun), nor how stupid it was to remove or not bother implementing QoL features from the earlier games. In general, this game feels unfinished, like some things didn’t get fleshed out enough and others flat-out got skipped over. I vaguely recall something about the pandemic making development more difficult, but that’s not a good enough excuse. Yes, COVID-19 obviously screwed up pretty much everyone’s lifestyles and plans, but you can’t blame all your bad decisions on Corona-chan. (Which is good advice for anyone, really.) You know how Miyamoto once said that a delayed game is eventually good, but a bad game is bad forever? I’d say that definitely applies here. If only this game had had 6 more months in development, it could have been great; as it is, it feels like a poorly balanced, poorly thought through, unnecessarily annoying mess. Some might think that a C+ is a generous rating for it given my summaries. Well, I did still enjoy it overall. I think that there is a good game in here, but dear lord, do you have to put up with a lot of crap to get to it. With the first Bravely game, and the second to a lesser extent, there were basically two different versions, the newer of which was essentially a remake that cleaned the game up a bit. In general, I don’t condone remaking a game on the same system as its original release, but I feel like this game is very much in need of such a thing. I really can’t recommend this game unless you’ve played the first two and are desperate for more Bravely. Even if you have a Switch and no 3DS, I’d still suggest getting a 3DS and the first two games (and as a bonus, you’d also gain access to both versions of Radiant Historia, which is amazing). It makes me sad when something that could have been great fails to meet its potential, but I think that’s what happened here.